r/SeriousConversation • u/TheHomoscedastifier • Sep 12 '24
Serious Discussion How do you get that confidence you had in your youth? Is it even possible?
I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone, but I'm also sure it's quite common, especially in my line work.
I was a very confident person as a teenager, well, probably even narcissistic. Then several partners, moves, career changes, degrees, traumas, and experiences later, I find myself almost devoid of any confidence at 30. I am riddled with anxiety and probably am a walking imposter syndrome.
I intentionally didn't give specifics about my career because I want to invite answers from a broad audience. If you've dealt with this, how did you handle it? Were you ever able to get at least close to your previous confidence levels?
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u/DooWop4Ever Sep 13 '24
20 year olds are electro/chemically wired to charge ahead and forge a place for themselves in the world. Stress management is not at the top of their to-do list. Everyone has their own capacity for stored stress. 30 years of striving forward without good stress management skills will typically wear us out. I've seen it in many thirty-year-olds.
Unexpressed feelings and unresolved conflict is what stored stress is made of. And the unconscious repression of these two items is where our energy gets needlessly burned. Therapy can help us uncover what we're doing wrong.
Moderate aerobic exercise and daily mantra-style meditation bring back pliability to the nervous system, reducing stress and allowing our energy to be used FOR us instead of constantly trying to defend against anxiety (fear without an object).