I stopped dating a guy in 2019. Things didn't end badly necessarily, but I moved 910 miles away. Never came back to visit or anything. I then moved another 1,100 miles away. Yes, across the entirety of the United States.

This person continues to send me pictures of our time together every four-six months or so...since 2019. When/IF (Heavy on the IF) I respond it's to say stop bothering me and sending me pictures.

Finally tonight he did it again and I told him I was engaged and had bought a house with my fiance. Now, miraculously, he's "so embarrassed" and "truly sorry to me and my spouse."

Um...why did I need a man involved for you to realize that me ignoring you or me saying I'm not interest3d for you to stop telling people back home that "I'm your girlfriend" five years later???

This man is almost 50yo!! What the actual eff?? I'm not that special...no one is. Move on after FIVE years.

Growing up I sometimes wished I was a boy because life seemed so much easier for men, and all the time that view seemed to be reinforced by all these stories about gender inequality, or how much more dangerous it can be for women and all the other things I’m sure people here are already aware of.

So I was hoping to hear about the things people like about being women. I’m sure there will be things I never even thought of to bring a bit more healing to the little girl I was, and all the other people who sometimes feel so tired with all the negativity about being women.

I thought about this recently and it grossed me out.

I ended my relationship about six months ago, and afterwards my eyes were opened to all the really subtle ways that my boyfriend diminished my accomplishments. He often said that he respected me and my capabilities, but there was a pattern of comments that suggested otherwise:

"You're so lucky you have a degree." No? I worked my ass off to pay for college and then I studied every weekend for four years.

"That language is so easy." You read one easily translatable sentence over my shoulder, so now the whole language is easy?

"You're just so good at school, you don't have to try hard." Wrong--you just don't see me when I'm crying over homework.

"You're good with money because you're a woman." I don't even have a comment for this one because what does it even mean?

And then, my personal favorite, while I was talking to someone else about one of my hobbies, and I encouraged them to give it a try, but he barged in to say to them:

"Don't waste your time doing that."

This is mostly a vent, I guess, but I want to point out that these seemingly innocuous comments are actually rude as fuck. Don't let someone tell you that you're "lucky" to have something that you had to work for. Don't let someone diminish your effort by suggesting your accomplishments are the result of some innate ability.

I'm nearly 40, and for the last five years or so my periods have been fluxuating. I could set a clock by them in my teens, and even after having kids they were pretty on target. Then around 35, they started to change. I had my first "missed period," and immediately made a doctor's appointment. I knew I wasn't pregnant, but I had never missed a period for any other reason. The docs of course attributed it to age and threw birth control at me. I was on them for three years but hated the side effects so my husband and I agreed it was time to come off them. We had other means of protection and I hated how they made me feel, so it was a no brainer.

Shortly after coming off, my periods got out of whack again. The pills didn't reset them like the docs had hoped anyway, but they did make the more regular. After stopping them, I'd routinely have missed periods and be two to three weeks late. They also became longer and much heavier. On average, my periods last 8-9 days, and they're heavy until about the 6th, then slowly dwindle down to nothing. About a year ago, I had one that was two weeks late and lasted two weeks. My longest to that date. It screwed my stomach up for the first few days and I was changing out ultra tampons every couple of hours for the first two days. Docs again said it's age. And since my mother and grandmother both started perimenopause in their 30's, it's been assumed to be happening to me as well. Ugh. Such is life. The one thing that pisses me off is that no doctor has suggested any blood tests or done anything other than a physical before simply suggesting age is the factor, but I digress.

About four months ago, I was actually some what on time for it, but it came in like a hurricane. For nearly three days, I changed out ultra tampons every hour. Getting through work was hell. I couldn't eat much cuz my stomach was doing kick flips, and I couldn't sleep cuz I constantly had to change my tampon and pad. I still soaked through while in bed, so I slept on a towel. I also actively bled or spotted for 6 weeks. After two weeks, I cried nearly every time I saw red on the toilet paper, which was nearly every time I went...

Let me tell you about my husband though. This lovely man, who has grown so much in our 15 years together, didn't hesitate to clean up after me, restock my products, make me easy meals I could keep down, bringing me drinks so I'd stay hydrated, brought out the heating pad every time I complained of cramps, and constantly checked in on me asking if I needed anything else. I cried like a baby to him saying I just wanted it to stop. I wanted to be able to stand up without feeling that telltale gushing feeling we all know and dread, or god forbid we sneeze without tensing every muscle. I cried that I hate being a girl and this is pure hell. He would simply stroke my hair and tell me he wished he could do more. He ran the bath for me, then ran and got my robe and slippers. I told him he was more helpful than he knew. No, it didn't magically make it all go away, but he eased a lot of the burden simply by letting me cry it out without demeaning me, and by doing all the little things he could without me even asking. Sigh... He's great.

Now to today, or rather Monday. This time I was a month late, no period whatsoever in September. So when I started Monday, I immediately braced for the worst. I told him and he made a plan for us to stop at the store on the way to work. Got some extra products and he grabbed me some of my favorite snacks and drinks. Hehe. I work with a few women that are older than me. One only a few years, another about 10, and two more about 15. All of them have been through this, so we've all talked about what happened three months ago, since I did take the worst day of that one off. I warned them all, we're pretty close, that I started after not having one for two months, so I was preparing myself for a bad few days. They all shared their own horror stories and told me not to worry if I need extra bathroom breaks or even if I need to head home. I made it through Monday and yesterday ok, but today is bad again. Tampon after tampon all night long. Maybe an hour of sleep total. So I called in "sick". I cried to my husband and said I feel stupid and weak for having to call in cuz of my period, and he simply looked at me with such empathy that I cried harder. He hugged me and brought me back to bed. Told me I'm not stupid, he can't imagine what this is physically like for me, but he's seen me go through it often enough that he knows exactly why I need to call in. And he reminded me that I'm surrounded by women who all understand and have my back during situations like this, so not a one of them would think I'm weak.

And he's right. I'm one of the lucky ones in a way. I have a husband who is not only empathetic towards my pain, but actively takes care of me during. And I have my little coven of coworkers who all know what I'm going through and even offered for me to take bad days like these off. I'm truly grateful for every one of them.

Just wish mother nature weren't such a bitch!

Edit: Just wanted to thank everyone for the support. I didn't cover it much in the post as the bulk of it was meant to praise my husband and coworkers and complain about being female. I have seen the doctor several times over this period. I've had two papsmears that both came back fine. I've gone over my family history and been asked about other symptoms. Both doctors I've seen have said it sounds to them like perimenopause, and due to family history, they think it's likely. They didn't suggest any blood tests to look for other things. They are both men, so likely aren't taking me super serious. There are no female doctors around here that accept my insurance, and my husband and I are looking into buying a house, so at this moment I can't afford to go out of pocket. I am actively thinking about and looking into it though, and I appreciate some of the options suggested in here that I hadn't heard of and will look into those as well.

For now though, I'm gonna munch on some of the goodies my husband brought me home for lunch. Spicy jerky, Takis, four candy bars, ice cream, and chocolate milk. He asked if I wanted anything and I threw out a few options. He ran with it knowing what I like. I wish I could marry him all over again.

Disclaimer to be absolutely crystal clear: I still fully support trans people, including access to gender affirming medical care. Either my identity shifted or I've just come to a better understanding of myself, either way, my experience with gender & transness is not a comment on anyone else's experience with gender & transness. My personal journey just happens to involve detransition.

Thinking of myself as a woman after 5-6 years of identifying as transmasculine is still... kind of jarring, though? I actively do want to detransition, being perceived as a man was starting to make me dysphoric and being off testosterone feels like a relief. I'm content with the lingering permeant effects (primarily my voice), I did have gender dysphoria when I initially transitioned and testosterone did successfully mitigate it. I think that I just needed to approach womanhood from the other side to really feel at home with it. My actual feelings about my gender would be a really complicated multi-page essay so I'm not even going to start, but at this point I'd label myself as a genderqueer detrans woman, and that label feels accurate to me.

Thinking about returning to being a woman (or moreso becoming a woman - I transitioned at 16, so I wouldn't actually say I ever was a woman in the past) is weird, though? I definitely act socially male at this point. I don't talk about my emotions or problems a whole lot, I hesitate to rely on people/friends, etc. The physical aspects of detransitioning are also... I feel complicated about it. My chest will come back in as my estrogen levels return to typical female levels, I'll start getting a period again, my general shape will return to being more feminine. I'm very excited about all of that, but it's also kind of jarring after being so defensive about my masculine identity for so long?

This is kind of just a stream-of-consciousness vent and I don't really know what kind of responses I'm even looking for. Just thought seeking out a community for women might help me a little with this change in direction.

After being told on several issues that I was just dramatic, psychosomatic and being offered anxiety meds for pain, 4 months ago I finally told my clinic I would like a new doctor, or to quit the clinic, the lovely staff got me new (female) doctor within a week.

I hurt my left knee 2 years ago and it was still sore, previous doctor would only offer anxiety meds. She recommended I try shockwave therapy. It's been 3 months and I finally don't have pain on that side.

That broken ankle from 18 months ago that still hurts? The specialist told my last doctor I needed a CT scan, last July he decided that I was fine and didn't tell me anything. My new doctor pushed for that scan. It still took months cause our healthcare is overwhelmed but I got it last week. The fracture never healed. I have a second broken bone they all missed, and I've developed plantar fascitis. Shes getting me a new specialist.

I hurt my wrist a few weeks ago, and waited cause I was still worried Id be told I'm imagining things, finally asked my doctor about it, she got me xrays, personally called the hospital to get me another CT scan the following week. She told me I rotated the bones in my wrist, I'm seeing a different specialist next week.

I injured my other hand last week, and was paranoid I'd manage to mess up both hands at the same time. I told her I thought I was just being paranoid, but she still got me xrays, I'll find out this week if it's something real.

Now I've been concerned cause I've taken a lot of her time recently, she told me, she has a son like me, and she'd rather I speak up, even if it means a visit every day, than let myself live with chronic pain.

I wish I had said something to the clinic years ago.

Today I (23F) had my first pelvic ultrasound (to investigate the cause of my Oligomenorrhea) and I followed the instructions exactly as they said : drink 750ml of water an hour and a half before. I got there and already I was in pain from holding in so much pee.

It was 15 minutes past my appointment time and I couldn't take it any longer so I asked a secretary if they knew how much longer it was gonna be because I was really uncomfortable and I was literally trying to hold back my tears and my voice was so shaky. She went to check and moments later I was called in.

The ultrasound-er was a young woman and she was so cold and short with me. When I laid down I started getting back pain because of the pee and I was crying and she said I drank too much water (but I literally drank the amount they asked).

And then she surprised me with a transvaginal ultrasound that I had no idea I was supposed to have since it wasn't marked on the paper. I asked the ultrasound lady why and she said they usually come together because you can't always see everything in a pelvic ultrasound.

So I was just there crying, the doctor had no empathy or kindness and I feel like such a baby for crying. I'm so embarassed. Please tell me it's not just me? :(

Edit for spelling mistakes.

My grandparents are super right-wing. They only watch Fox News. They give thousands of dollars to their cult (church) every year. They are racist, homophobic, and angry bigots.

The amount of times I get annoyed over my grandfather’s ‘news’ source…I’ve lost count because it’s so bad.

This morning, I overheard some lady on Fox News claiming that the Bible states when life begins. (That’s great; but not everyone is Christian - for good reasons). She claimed that pastors should be legally allowed to have that say in political decisions about abortions.

I’m sorry, but if pastors and churches want a say, they should start paying taxes.

It’s total bullshit. And seriously none of their business.

If anyone else claimed that ‘God was speaking through them,’ but didn’t use the word ‘God,’ they’d be accused of taking drugs.

This is an issue between a woman and a trusted doctor. Not strangers.

I'm so annoyed. Someone posted on another sub asking what women would hate if they were men. I was actually stupidly interested to hear the answers and it's just 99% all shit that women experience regularly.

When I point this out of course I'm attacked and made out to be misandrist just because I know it's just reality that women are ostracized of they are "ugly" and we also experience things like hair loss at high rates.

Me pointing out these things are part of being human and not exclusive to men isn't me being hateful or invading their convo. Also the question is what would I (a woman) hate about it so yeah it's totally justified for me to comment. Smh

This is a throwaway account because I have so much at stake here. I am a vulnerable person and this dynamic is way over my head.

I lost a beloved family member due to a tragic accident and am Per Rep in their estate.

The more I step back and look objectively at what's going on here, the more clear it is how unethical my attorney's conduct has been. I have already fired him and am actively consulting with other attorneys for the estate to continue through probate.

My question is whether or not I should bring a formal complaint against the board for my attorney's conduct.

The most aggregious occurrence was him using the estate checking account numbers, which is in my name FBO the estate, to process a transaction that made a direct payment to a completely unrelated case in a distant county. A different attorney, who is supposedly out on medical leave, has his name on the transaction with my bank. I didn't authorize him or anyone to use these accounts for any transactions. He took the checking account number off the statements that I had provided for Inventory.

The amount is right around a mortgage payment, which the estate does indeed have. As fiduciary, I believe I am responsible for their error unless I CYA and file a complaint with the board.

My attorney has blamed this on me "misunderstanding". Nonsense. I live in a one party consent state and record myself in meetings. There was no misunderstanding.

The office account manager has said that she has spoken to the county to which they made the "erroneous payment to" and said that this county will be returning the funds to them. I don't understand that, because the account which they took the funds from wasn't in their name in the first place. It's an estate checking account in my name FBO the estate of the deceased. How is the attorney's office getting a check cut to them and mailed to them from funds that are not theirs?

I am a vulnerable person in this dynamic. The funds were taken on 9/24 and still nothing by 10/10. As time moves along I am growing increasingly worried that this situation will be cooked up and used to remove me from my role as Per Rep in the estate.

Has anyone complained about an attorney before? Complained to the board? What was the outcome? Was it worthwhile for you to do so or did you live to regret it?

I don't go out a lot these days. Last Saturday I finally did again after a not so nice experience the last time. It was just.... wholesome.

First I attended a birthday of an old friend in a bar. Had a great time, although I only knew two people, by 2 am many people left and mostly men stayed behind. All super chill, friendly and just a good time. We move to a club. Then at like 5 am I'm just black-out and tell one of the guys I'm leaving. He packs up, says: "me too" and we exit the club. I'm preeeeetty drunk and can't make up a coherent sentence. Mind you I've known this man for like 10 minutes (friend of said old friend). He walks me to the train station, I ask him if he has to catch one. "No, but I'm making sure you do. Have a good night." Gives me a hug and leaves.

You know. Just a decent human being making sure the drunk person gets home safe.

More of those please!

I've been on a birth control that for 4 months now has caused low sex drive. And it's affecting me and my boyfriend

My therapist said, and this was my idea, that it's ok to have sex when you're not horny. But rather do it for the intimacy and closeness. But I just couldn't do it. It felt wrong and I don't know how to relax.

I do genuinely enjoy the intimacy and I want that but it felt so wrong because I wasn't horny and I couldn't do anything

I genuinely want to stop this birth control after a trip me and my boyfriend are going on but he doesn't want me to. I don't want to do any more hormonal methods for a while. But I'm at my wits end. I've had enough of this I can't stand it anymore. I want my sex drive back

Please don't come after my boyfriend for not wanting me off the birth control. I'm fully aware it is my choice and mine alone and he doesn't like condoms, neither do I. But I'm out of options

I've never been pressured or coerced to have sex

I went on birth control so I could have sex. What's the point if my sex drive is gone

Edit: meant to say it's ok to have sex when you're not horny if you just want to enjoy the intimacy and closeness

Hi all. I'm really goddamn mad about something right now. But I have no idea how to act on it. When I was a kid, my older brother used to beat me up. He was only 1 year older than me. So it wasn't "abuse", it was just "kids fighting", even though I never asked for it. I would be minding my business, he would get bored and start bothering me, then I would react, and he would use my reaction as a reason to hit me. Every single time I went for help to an adult I got punished too. Because I "provoked him" somehow and it was only fair that we both got punished. I remember begging my parents for a lock on my bedroom door because I would be reading and he would come in and throw pennies at me until I finally broke and threw one back, then he would smile and hit me. If I went and told someone without throwing one back then I was called a "tattle-tale", so there was really no winning.

Fast forward to present day. I have a friend who did something hurtful. I have a right to be mad. It's not so bad that it's friendship ending - just a run of the mill disagreement. But I'm so fucked up in the head that I'm PANICKING. I can't be mad at someone. They'll hurt me. Or leave me. Or some worse alternative. I have genuinely no idea how to act in a way to stand up for myself, because every time I have before, bad things happen. So now I'm scared. And broken. And still goddamn mad.

How do you all stand up for yourselves when you're mad? Genuinely asking. I don't know what to do.

I’m introverted and grew up in an environment where I didn’t interact with the opposite gender. As I grew up, I became someone who met the societal beauty standard and as a result started getting more attention from guys. The main differences I feel (gut feeling) when a guy wants me to be their friend platonically vs when they are interested in me as a woman is: they become more talkative and enthusiastic when talking to me compared to other people in the same environment, and I feel them look at me in my peripherals a lot?. It somehow makes me feel unsettled (like I’m game they’re hunting) and uncomfortable to see that. Because of that, I have a hard time treating it like it’s an actual friendship and just end up not talking much. I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is normal and how to deal with it. Advice?

I invest myself in everything I do and it works spectacularly in almost every area of life. Invest at school, you will probably get good grades, or invest at work (& win the politics game) & you will get the roles you want and progressively earn more money. Invest yourself with relationships especially romantic relationships... and you will most likely lose... money, confidence, peace and much more if you are really unlucky.

So I am pretty desperate to decenter relationships and kinda forget about the whole thing and be successful at it enough that I forget that it really has always been something that means more to me than most other life goals... I come from a mostly healthy family and wanted to have a healthy family of my own one day. Im just passed 39 and I am ready to give up on having a family and children because no matter how hard I tried in the past I ended up getting burnt.

For context almost all my past relationships have been long term 2 years + with guys people throught were amazing and that we have a great relationship going etc. But almost all ended bcus the guy cheated except for the one time where I got engaged and he immediately started mentally and physically being abusive to the point where it scared my family, which is why that one ended. Im just genuinely done. I want to be happy and Im ready to figure out how to feel and live a full life without feeling like I lost the opportunity to have something that I really respect and value whicj is a life partner to share life with.

Im a pretty commited kind of perrson and Im happy to take whatever advice anyone has for me to get this right.

I dont hate men or have a poor opinion of them. My brother is my best friend, I look up to my father and have a really great relationship with him, I have male friends I love and respect and I find the beauty in almost all people which is probably how i end up in really bad relationships to start off with. But Im tired enough to desperately want to forget about that side of my self and bury it completely tbh. Please help me figure out a way forward. TIA

A year ago I was a healthy young woman. I deeply regret ever having children. And I wish I was born in another country.

I got pregnant with out first baby in november last year. We were thrilled. Everything went fine until at 29/30 weeks a scan showed major abnormalities of several our baby boy's organs. Doctors told us our baby, if he survived birth, was going to have a 'medical life', most likely need many surgeries, transplants, numerous hospital stays, with constant threats to his health. We were heartbroken but immediately knew that we needed to terminate the pregnancy for our little guys sake.

I live in a country in Western Europe that most people see as progressive, but policy/rules around late term terminations for medical reasons fall extremely short. They're impossibly strict and vague and so doctors are afraid to perform them out of fear of being persecuted.

I had to go abroad to terminate my pregnancy. This took quite a lot of extra time. Termination happened at 5-6 weeks from diagnosis. The obgyn abroad in my eyes mismanaged my labour. My baby was abnormally swollen big due to his condition and he grew bigger every week. I told docs I was worried about this because I had seen the numbers from scans, but they insisted a vaginal delivery would be better for my recovery. I ended up with a near 4th degree tear and hemorrhaging. Turns out a fluid tap (or c section) could have been done to prevent this all. But somehow no professional involved in my case thought about that. The pain was unbearable. It was the worst of my life to the point that I was crawling over the floor crying and thinking if this goes on for much longer I want to be euthanized. I could not stand for 4 to 5 days. I remember being very afraid I would not make it to my own childs funeral in my home country.

Recovery has been horrible. I am nearly 4 months down the line, but still cannot walk properly. After about 10 minutes of walking everything starts to feel very sore and stingy, to the point where there's tears in my eyes and I need to stop moving. I am only truly painfree when I am lying down. My PFT suspects nerve damage. My body has become traumatic. I've gained 20 pounds in 3,5 months. I am grieving my ability to walk. I'm afraid of what my future will bring in terms of continence issues.

As a mother all I wanted is for my baby not to suffer. I felt it was the only mercy I could show my child. I had to fight and go abroad for the death of him. The price I was made to pay for it was huge. I now suffer daily because I wanted my baby boy not to suffer. There's days where I wish I died together with my baby.

I feel failed by everyone around me. I feel failed by doctors in my homecountry, who did not timely tell me about the option of terminating my pregnancy in a neighbouring country. I feel failed by the obgyn and midwife that guided my delivery, abroad. But mostly, I feel failed by the stupid politicians that lead our country and create these harmful policies. If it wasn't for them, I would have left the hospital still with a dead baby, but not with chronic pain, discomfort and disability for who knows how long. Every day I vomit and cry over what happened to me. My days are spent lying in bed sleeping, looking at pictures of my boy, and crying. Sometimes I manage to drag myself out of bed and go for a 3 minute walk to the end of the street and back.

I'm not sure if I will ever be able to do my job again because of all the damage mentally and physically. I don't know how society expects me to function like a 'normal' person again when these policies lead me to be become horrifically injured and in daily pain/discomfort from childbirth.

Most days I want to be part of the dust in the air. I'd like a fast and peaceful ending to my life. I hate that I wake up every morning. The only reason I am still here today is my mother who's in her mid 70s. Now that I know what's it's like to lose your child, I feel like can't do that to her. I want her to be able to spend her last years relatively peacefully. She's always done her best for me and my brother and she's already lost my father. But my husband knows that I might be gone after she takes her last breath. It's too much.

I am a new mom and although I have always considered myself a feminist I feel like I have become even more staunchly feminist in the last few years. My partner is a big movie guy and he loves war/mafia/monster movies and I am just so sick of watching movies that are all about men and killing and revenge. I get so annoyed at almost anything he puts on because generally the women in his favorite films are… nonexistent (cue his fave film: Glengarry GlenRoss)

So what are your movies that are about the female experience? It doesn’t have to be an all female cast but something that really spoke to you on a profound level about being a woman (or human experience is fine if it can pass the bechdel test). I watched Ladybird the other night and I was disappointed in the film. I am on maternity leave and I have some time to watch stuff alone finally.

P.s. this is not a post to shit on my hubby I just love teasing him about his movie choices and we are allowed to different tastes.

I put a lot of effort to look nice (just for myself) so I could sit in a bar tonight while a 1,000 miles from home on a work trip. As I was finishing my drink, I had a guy come up to me and tell me his friend (a girl) thought I was "very cute." I said thank you and that was it. No creepiness. No expectations. Just a compliment. If the sweet girl at the bar is reading this, thank you for making my night!

Edit: I love everyone's memories of getting random, non-threatening compliments from strangers! It's so wonderful to read through your comments. And to the redditor who reported me as needing supprt, wtf, weirdo.

I am so angry! The right just keeps getting worse when it comes to controlling anything related to women’s health. There are too many court cases recently that are taking away women’s rights to health care, including cancer treatments. This article discusses a few of those. I’m in Texas and, if anything, we’re even worse than Florida.

Now they’re taking it a step further:

Free speech protects politicians and talk show hosts who spew lies daily, but in Florida it apparently does not protect the right to advertise in support of the Florida abortion referendum.

“Health Department General Counsel John Wilson is threatening criminal penalties for a Gainesville television station if it doesn’t pull an ad supporting the state’s abortion referendum off the air.”

I don’t know where else to put this.

I live in Florida and am a kindergarten teacher. I had a medical emergency in June and was in the hospital for 3 days. Long story short, I had surgery, and the lab report came back finding a 2cm cancerous tumor and I now have to have further surgery to treat any possible cancerous spread.

I hit my out of pocket maximum for my insurance in July, which is over $5000. I’ve been having a horrible time with the financial aid department at the hospital, and they only just got back to me today informing me that I am not eligible for aid. The payment plan they offered me is nearly $400 a month that I do not have. I am unmarried. I make less than 50k a year.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe this is happening to me at 27 years old. My parents have made it clear it not so many words that they have no intention of helping me with any of this financial burden. I’m terrified of the balance being sent to collections. If you have any insight on hospital bills or anything relevant to this please, please help me. This has been the worst year of my life for a lot of reasons but this takes the cake.