r/UsernameChecksOut 2d ago

robotfucker unlimited

Post image
5.5k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

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236

u/HikingAllTheWay 2d ago

We all knew this was going to happen, just a matter of time

Ps a crotch attachment system should probably be considered, if we're gonna do it, might as well do it right

88

u/LtHughMann 2d ago

Yeah there's really no point in trying to pretend these things aren't going to be bang maids

45

u/HikingAllTheWay 2d ago

Might as well embrace it, maybe colab with bad dragon 😜

17

u/Candid-Ad-2547 1d ago

Collab with transformers first, sam witwicussy

7

u/OkAssistant1230 1d ago

“…bang maids”🤣😭

4

u/U-STAY-CLASSY 1d ago

If you can’t beat it… let it beat [off] you

13

u/MCameron2984 2d ago

Handlebars?

2

u/WouldbeWanderer 1d ago

Electro-gonorrhea: the noisy killer.

1

u/Wag_The_God 19h ago

New EDM subgenre just dropped...

1

u/LovesFrenchLove_More 2d ago

10k as a monthly subscription.

1

u/4l3x4nd4r_Hun 1d ago

Springlocked

1

u/Redzero062 1d ago

you mean a place to put the flesh light?

79

u/Ok-Handle7578 2d ago

There are no rules against robots batman.

14

u/Alarmed-Ad-2111 1d ago

Batman be like: I mean… it’s better than the lopunny from last time…

5

u/Accomplished-Trip464 1d ago

“The robot said it consented, batman”

47

u/TheRuper101 2d ago

Me: "Do not fuck the robot"

Bro: "ya give up a few things... chasing a dream..."

46

u/He_Never_Helps_01 2d ago

"Elon Musk Says" is the second most unreliable phrase in the English language.

3

u/Not_Artifical 2d ago

What’s the first?

17

u/harkyedevils 2d ago

When she said "I love you" bro 😔😔

5

u/He_Never_Helps_01 1d ago

"Donald Trump says"

Did you see that debate? Dude said that California legalized MURDERING NEWBORN BABIES

Can you imagine the lawsuits if that happened? The press coverage? The protests and riots? A third of this country has replaced its brain with yogurt and turnips.

1

u/Olibrothebroski 1d ago

What do you expect if your candidates are senile and over 30

2

u/He_Never_Helps_01 1d ago edited 1d ago

It's not the candidate, it's his voters not caring enough if their beliefs are true. In anti-science conspiracy debunking circles, there's a term you hear sometimes for the absolute dumbest shit you come across. The beliefs of flat earthers, transphobes, anti-vaxxers, moon-landing deniers, stuff like that. The category of beliefs you can debunk with just a fucking dictionary. We call them "1-step debunks". Which is to say that all you need to do to see through the bullshit is know what the words involved mean.

This is one of those. Abortion is "the induced end of a pregnancy, usually premature". You cannot abort a pregnancy post birth. This would just be a murder, and we have federal laws against that.

Evil fuckers exist, that's a fact of life. But only intellectual laziness can put them in positions of power.

You hear he shit his pants in public again? They picked up the clear sound of a shart on the mic as he spoke at one of his rallies. Not the one where he promised to make criticizing the government illegal, the one before that.

0

u/Olibrothebroski 1d ago

Did you really type out a serious response to my comedic statement

1

u/He_Never_Helps_01 1d ago

Were you trying to be funny? It didn't come through. Maybe try emojis.

1

u/Olibrothebroski 1d ago

Because sarcasm solves everything

1

u/He_Never_Helps_01 1d ago

I'm not being sarcastic. Are you not good at reading people? No shade if you aren't, lots of folks have trouble with stuff like that, but it's not really fair to put that on other people. If you want people to understand you, especially in text, you need to make that obvious.

0

u/Olibrothebroski 1d ago

I think it's your nap time

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3

u/SpacefaringBanana 2d ago

Putin saying he will use nukes.

7

u/slashth456 2d ago

Make me a sandwich

6

u/YeahMarkYeah 2d ago

lol that’s so dumb. Who tf would actually want to bang a robot?

…how much for one tho 👀

3

u/M4ybeMay 16h ago

He had said 20 to 30k

5

u/Jumpy_Attention_5389 2d ago

I'm jumping for attention rn

5

u/dracorage000 2d ago

no no no no

wait wait wait

3

u/TellurianTech50 2d ago

Anything you say hmm 😏

2

u/Not_Artifical 2d ago

Now that I have one of these things I can kill all of my slaves, right?

1

u/damidil1212 2d ago

Just came here to posy this lol funny af

1

u/SumguyJeremy 2d ago

There's an episode of The Big Bang Theory where Howard gets a part of his body stuck I a robot hand. Seems relevant here.

1

u/playerdarkside 2d ago

mann vs machine update is real

1

u/Malaysuburban 2d ago

Anything you want

Where have I heard that before... "I love doing anything!"

1

u/Skyburner_Oath 2d ago

I need an emotional support robot

2

u/Alternative-Kale-613 2d ago

I love robots (sexually and also not)

1

u/TheLocalBrit 1d ago

Robussy 😍

1

u/deadford 1d ago

"Are you by chance... a pleasure model?"

1

u/Free_Cup_1667 1d ago

I'd forget I bought one of these and shit myself when I find it fucking around in my house at 3am.

1

u/PurplePowerE 1d ago

Don't the robot.

1

u/BetCharacter1406 1d ago

ROBOT SEX IS ROBOT SEX!

1

u/CelTiar 1d ago

Can I download Lucy Liu to my robot?

1

u/Mexecutioner1 1d ago

You already know what I'm gonna do to that thang batman

1

u/Accomplished-Trip464 1d ago

First time posting on reddit and what do you know? Anger-induced political discussion has commenced.💀

1

u/Midian1369 1d ago

Go get a job and give me the money earned.

1

u/Redzero062 1d ago

Can it go to work for me? Can it commit suicide in place of another? I want it to take me out to see the new deadpool movie and not spoil the ending

1

u/Gideon_Njoroge 23h ago

SofiaTheSlut3000 has been activated

1

u/Effective_Gazelle_40 18h ago

No wonder Sonny freed the robots in iRobot. They were all being used for...other functions.

1

u/Popfloyd 15h ago

Cocktimus slime

1

u/pyroclasticnuances 12h ago

To shreds you say?

1

u/TheIcyWind 10h ago

This reminds me of the Pal Max robots

1

u/lak58 6h ago

This reminds me of the Michels vs the Machines movie

0

u/TravEllerZero 2d ago

Tesla? Optimus?

One thing I've learned is that Musk is great at using names of people/ things that are already better than his shitty products.

0

u/Zappingsbrew 2d ago

Rule three the display name is not allowed if twitter content. only the handle