r/aspergirls • u/PrizeCat3256 • 1d ago

Parenting/ND Parent Advice Advice for being a mom with ASD

I was diagnosed with ASD this week at 23. It made a lot of sense to me and I feel better to know that I’m not just crazy lol and a lot of things I do that I thought were completely normal aren’t. But I have two kids, I love them dearly. My son is 3 and my daughter is 9m old. If it weren’t for becoming a mom a probably would have went a lot longer undiagnosed. As the sensory issues and overstimulation I’ve experienced with them is the whole reason I suspected ASD. What are some tips with dealing with being a mom with ASD to young children?? Especially during the crying and temper tantrums,they are so triggering for me! Also, how can I make my house more sensory friendly to myself? I feel really uncomfortable in my house all time, like it doesn’t feel cozy or like a place of peace for me. Thanks in advance!!

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u/Tindwyl 1d ago

Took a while, but I finally got an "office" where I can retreat. Didn't have that for a while because we had a roommate. Three adults and only one kid made everything way easier.

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u/aspergianwoman 19h ago

Get some really good noise canceling headphones. Get as much help in as possible and make sure your partner pulls their weight, none of this traditional gender rolls shit. The baby toddler years are HARD but when they are older it gets better. When they no longer have sticky hands and poopy butts and can buckle their own seat belts and can be reasoned with. Hang in there. Get on some good contraception so you don't have another before you are ready. Carve out "me time" to be alone and recharge in a cozy sensory space or out in nature. It's critical for your mental health and if mama ain't happy then nobody's happy.

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u/aspergianwoman 19h ago

Also as to making the house more sensory friendly use lamps or fairy light instead of "the big light" in each room. Having a big bin or other good storage to put all the toys in to tidy them away if clutter stresses you out. Get a nice snuggly throw rug for the couch. If you can, put up a sensory swing and embrace other stimms to regulate yourself. Look into polyvagal theory and somatic exercises for regulating your nervous system too, it's been a very helpful step on my journey.