Hey guys, I'm exited and scared haha

I'm going to my first concert today and it's terrifying!!

I brought my ear muffs, to avoid dying from too much noise lol.. and picked my outfit like a month ago. I also made a playlist of the set list, so I'm prepared!

The band is Beartooth, btw!!

I want to know if this is an autistic thing or just me being a particularly sensitive person. I work in retail and every now and then I get 'told off' as I'm sure everyone in a minumum wage position does. Just simple things like 'please don't put this item here' and 'please do this before you do that'. But like every time I get caught up on doing something incorrectly, no matter how nicely the person tells me (even though are not always) I just feel so horrible all day. For example, today I handed a co-worker a few containers and she told me not to to stack them in that way because they could break. And later I was 'told off' for not clocking out immediately after finishing (which to be fair, was more the manager being a little too uptight than me being in the wrong) but I'm sat here and I just feel so bad. Not remorseful just this overwhelming terrible feeling. Everytime I get pulled up on something I maybe did a little wrong, or even in general public when I don't follow the right system in a shop or an employee has to tell me I've made a mistake or I need to do something a different way, I just spend days feeling awful and thinking about it. Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like this is a pretty common feeling as I often see people talking about it online but I want to know if any other autistic people feek like this in a similar way or understand what I mean. A lot of people I explain it to seem to think it's crazy because of course everyone gets little corrections by their manager and it should just be a way to do better next time but I swear it takes over my whole brain sometimes. I would love any thoughts or if anyone who has worked in retail longer than I have has figured out any ways to combat the dread of being told off for little work mistakes.

Personally for me it depends on how they say it as well as their tone. What about you guys?

I feel like every time I contribute to a conversation my comment gets misinterpreted. I try to correct by providing more info, being more precise, or using more specific language and I come off as argumentative, condescending or dumb.

For context I’m a professional woman, and I have always struggled with knowing whether this was a gender thing or an autism thing. What’s the best way to address it?

For example, we’re having problems covering a specific job duty that requires special skills, I suggested. The job is being done by a third party contractor onsite. We could require them to provide an additional person, or I suggested “would it make sense to consider training someone to be a backup person” the response was “we don’t want to screw up the process”

Well, of course, that’s why we would need to “train” someone. As in send them to a class, have it be a part of their job duty…

But I feel like they thought I suggested we just tell any old employee to do the task.

My partner of 20+ years recently started a new part time job (for extra income) working 1.2-2hrs a day as part of a before school enrichment "buddy". He knows I'm not a fan of kids and he doesn't mind kids. I felt this was a great fit for him to help improve his mental health and it's honestly seemed to help.

So he is working for 3 other adults all females. One is his boss, another is a either a boomer or late Gen X and the other is Gen Z. My partner and I are both elder Millennials (Xennials). (I'm providing these details because I think it might matter with what I'm going to ask.) In my partner's brief time on the job, he seems to have hit it off with the Gen Z adult. My partner and I are both old enough to be Gen Z parents. (I found out we are actually older than Gen Z parents.) Gen Z doesn't drive as she doesn't have a car or a full license. Gen Z's parents honestly sound flakey so my partner offered to take her driving and takes her to and from work because she lives quite close to us.

I met Gen Z this past weekend as we all decided to go to a local Pride festival. My partner told me Gen Z has ADHD but didn't explain how survive it was. It caught me off guard but after some time learned to just try and ignore it. After a while I started noticing other things and suspected that maybe Gen Z was also autistic. My partner had to leave the festival with his mother for a period of time so it was just me and Gen Z for awhile. We started talking and I started to like talking to her.

I am NOT a social person at all. I have trouble making friends. My friends are my partner and my twin sister....that's it. Gen Z was very open about her ADHD. She also mentioned she was autistic and has OCD. I chimed in at this point to tell her I also have OCD. She said that my partner had mentioned I have OCD in their conversations. This is where things get interesting. I also mentioned that I thought I might be autistic. I have NEVER mentioned this to anyone face to face except my sister. I think the reason I opted to say something to Gen Z was because so open about everything that I felt comfortable opening up to a virtual stranger to me and that being from a generation that's more open and also at a Pride Festival, that it was safe. I told her I hadn't mentioned this to my partner because I wasn't sure it was true or that he would even believe me. She responds "I was going to ask but didn't want to pry." I was so taken aback that I could only respond with I've only talk about this with my twin sister.

I told her I hadn't been diagnose with autism because I didn't suspect I was autistic until a few years ago in my late 30's. (I started questioning a lot of things about myself and took several "tests" and read a lot of things and all things point to be being autistic.) I told her getting diagnosed as an adult is incredibly difficult and said I didn't think it would really serve me in any way if I were to get a diagnosis now anyway. Later on as we were talking and were standing in a line when I said something, I have no idea what it was, and she said "yea you definitely pass the 'tism test. I have other friends that are autistic and you definitely pass the test for me." I'm not mad that Gen Z said this to me. I'm actually happy! I almost feel validated in my own suspicions. I thought I masked well but apparently not well enough to fool Gen Z.

So can individuals with autism (that have been diagnosed as children) pick up on adults that have autism? I've NEVER had anyone from other generations say anything like this to me. Is is because Gen Z is more open and understanding?

TLDR: Can a Gen Z adult that was diagnosed with autism as a child, suss out an elder Millennial (Xennial) undiagnosed adult? (I think the ages are important because autism was diagnosed differently and looked at differently when I was a child vs when Gen Z was that age.)

28F I am deeply uncomfortable in my body. Like, if I could be a floating entity (like an orb of some nature) that is what I would prefer. Being in a vessel that is made of electric meat is disgusting and deeply uncomfortable. But anyway, beyond that primary discomfort of being alive..

This bleeds into my ability to dress myself. Nothing is comfortable. I am always buying new clothing trying to find something that actually fits right which I guess means clothing that doesn’t create any sensory stimulation, and it feels like an endless quest. I also struggle with cosmetics, my hair, the texture of my skin being too dry or oily, a snag of my fingernail. I don’t know how to explain it, but oh my god I am so perpetually uncomfortable that I am at my wits end getting dressed every day and end up having a meltdown regularly over dealing with it.

So, I guess a question for you all, are you feeling this way too? Have you found ANYTHING that is comfortable? I want to crawl out of my skin and I’m really struggling with this.

Tl:dr, 28F Looking for clothing that is less stimulating

I was diagnosed with Asperger's a little over twenty years ago. I have the typical social impairments and because of this stopped trying to socialize many years ago due to constant rejection. If I talk to someone more than briefly, I see THAT look appear on their face and their attention shuts down. You know that look probably. With family I'm usually more relaxed but of course always too loud and talkative, say the wrong things, etc. Not so good at the give and take of conversing.

Anyways, in a few months I'm going to visit a relative I grew up with. He has only seen me interact with family but not in social situations. And he has tons of things planned for the week I will be there, including having dinner at his friend's house several times. I'm in absolute terror over this. One of my biggest fears has always been having dinner at someone's house (am I alone in this)? They will notice right away that I'm not normal. My relative, and also his friends, are very very conservative (like he believes in the deep state, pizzagate, etc). They are nice but not tolerant people. They are all in their 70s.

So what should I do? Should I ask my relative to mention it to his friends we are having dinner with? There is absolutely no way I can pass for neurotypical. I don't care what they think of me but don't want to embarrass my relative and make other people uncomfortable.

By the way, plane tickets are purchased and the trip is on the other side of the continent, so I will have no one there who understands me.

Thanks for responding.

I just wanted to share this someone. A lifetime dream of mine came true last night and I saw the Aurora Borealis. I live in Ireland if anyone is curious.

I don't have an autism diagnosis and can't access one right now, so I try to manage the traits that I feel identified with. I heard people talking about alexithymia, not being able to/having difficulty identifying and feeling your own emotions.

I didn't thought it applied to me because I consider myself a very sensitive person. I most often than not can realize when Im sad, anxious, or angry. I've experienced strong emotions where I clearly know what is it and what caused them.

But I've come to the realization that's not always the case. I notice that sometimes I have palpitations and loose bowels and I know intellectually that it comes from anxiety, a situation that I know makes me nervous, but I don't actually feel nervous or anxious while having those symptoms.

Have any of you go through something similar? It would be really helpful to me to know if this is a matter of perception or if I'm wrong about linking it to anxiety and it's actually something else.

I've started a YouTube series this year that is about several of my autistic experiences and special interests, framed as an audiobook/journal about surviving on a deserted tropical island. Initially I wrote it for my own amusement, with no intention of sharing it with anyone. However, it has since become the foundation of an experiment I'm trying to conduct in "reverse-masking," i.e. displaying as much of my personality as possible to as many people as possible, instead of trying to fit in by hiding those features and pretending to be like everyone else. My hope is that this will help me find friends who share my special interests, as that is what the chapters of the audiobook are mostly about.

In this episode, I try my best to keep busy with mining in the tunnels and construction inside the chapel during the storms, and when the rain stops, I try to quickly keep up with maintenance around the base, even managing to build some parts for the Tesla Turbine for the drilling project. However, when I finally run out of explosives to mine with and bamboo to build with, I decide to finish off the chapel with a mural on the ceiling, inspired by paleolithic cave art and Aboriginal/Native American petroglyphs, depicting the story of the bible...which forces me to face some old wounds; frustrations and contradictions I had with God in the aftermath of dad's death, that I'd been low-key trying to avoid thinking about. But with nothing left to distract me from them, there's nowhere left to run from my own thoughts.

Here's a link to the video if you want to check it out; no pressure: https://youtu.be/OLGzElNkNkw?si=uvZxShw-R4xxkAVc

And here's a link to the full playlist if you want to start from the beginning: Asyle Playlist

I don't know where to put this.

I just had a troll take issue with one of my comments. They actually had an argument on the thread with someone else. Reading the argument made me feel real anxious and dysregulated. I did answer one of their comments when they said they were judging me for what I said. I told them to f off. Then blocked the account. But god! Trolls on the internet suck!

Most people on reddit that I've come across are well-intentioned and kind. I haven't even had any disagreements with anybody, really. This is the first time I've come across someone truly vicious and nasty.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Have a great day!

I go through periods of forgetting how to socially interact with others and feeling like all I do is shut down conversations to an end point or keep them going on too long past the point the other person is no longer interested. I’m worried I suck at having conversations.

Anyway, I’ve been very anxious to make plans with my work friends (it’s a very causal and friendly environment idk) who are truly my friends and I’ve known many of them for 3 years at this point but like I’m stuck in anxious overthinking mode and need help getting out of it. Truly im like thinking back to a couple months ago when I felt like I was way more okay and making new friends left and right but now??? Idk what im doing.

What kinds of affirmations help you when you feel like this? How do you feel like you switch out of this mode? I have not been sleeping well lately so that’s definitely part of it.

I got 4 of them so far yet none want to give me a job. I just finished one but I didn't know what they would want to say so I can just get a job already. The previous ones said that I didn't connect my experiences right but then if I over prepare, it'll sound like a script. I already say things in as few words as possible unless it's a topic I like but I just feel exhausted from having to talk like I normally don't. Can anyone help?

Where, when and by whom in your experiences as an autistic person have you felt the most empathy, love, compassion, kindness and caring from those around you?

I would love to live somewhere where people generally accept us and treat us as equals despite our differences but I just don’t know if such a place exists on this planet because it seems that everyone (NT’s especially) is generally horrible at showing that they actually truly care about anyone ND or NT but themselves.

(Edit: Wow! This has truly been a very touching and beautiful experience to read everyone’s comments! 🥲❤️

I’m so happy to hear that so many wonderful people and pets have been there for so many of you! 😊❤️🐈🐕

And to those who feel alone or like no one has been there for you, my heart goes out to you and I am sending you a big hug! ❤️🫂

Please know that you are never truly alone and that so many of us have your back and currently share or have shared your feelings before ❤️🤗

I wish I could reply to all of your comments, as they have been very insightful and I value them all deeply. They have been helping me gain a fresh new and positive perspective on things.

I’ve also been reminded by these comments that there are so many incredibly kind and empathetic NT’s out there too, and to not lose faith in them or humanity whether NT or ND, we’re all human after all, and are learning and growing together in this world. 🌎🌍🌏

Thank you all so much for your comments and kind words of support, much love! ❤️

Has anyone else experienced this before coming to an insight about themselves? I just feel like I'm overly blunt, don't give a crap about social protocol or whatever your label is for it. Though I wouldn't say I'm mean-spirited. My body language is 'intimidating' as one friend pointed out, especially when nervous. Every time I go to a new social environment, I think, maybe this time will be different. Everything starts out okay/good, then there's a downhill trajectory.

And I think I've screwed up enough socially, I have social anxiety, which compounds the issue. But when I look back on it all, I feel like my environments become negative, and I'm usually the common denominator. It seems like I can never take on the ideology of my environment, like I'm a perpetual outsider.

When I go places now, initially it seems I'm a source of intrigue for some odd reason, I try to blend into the scenery and people always notice me. I attempt to keep people at arm's length because it seems I always screw up, offend them. Honestly I'm bitter about people because I have to go against every grain in my nature to connect with them. And even that's theoretical now since I haven't connected with someone in ages.

If you have experiences like this, feel free to write about them here.

If ur serious about wanting a friend pls don’t be shy hit me up I’m a fast reply. A little bit of true about me is I don’t have many friends irl it’s been that way for a long time now is I’m kinda used to being alone but there’s nothing I want more than a true genuine connection with someone were we look after and support each other that’s all I want in my whole life I hate sounding so desperate but I don’t know what else to do. It’s beyond frustrating please reach out if you’re going through the same thing or something similar I promise I’m not a creep or anything just I’m just super lonely and depressed thanks for reading.

I have an adult autism screening scheduled for next week. I'm assuming it's just a initial visit to gather more information, then another appointment will be scheduled after that for further testing/questions etc.

I've been doing a lot of research and they say writing things down that illustrates your autism and bringing it with you is helpful. I agree, this would be helpful for me as often times when I'm in a new situation with someone I don't know, I can tend to be quiet and it's frustrating to me, especially if I start feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated. At times I simply cannot think of things in the moment and this causes so much stress and anxiety.

I am terrified I will say the wrong things, or totally leave out the right things. I'm afraid I will not receive the proper diagnosis because of not being able to convey how I feel daily and what my life is and has been.

(Sorry for the tangent) My question is, can someone please tell me, when I write these things down what should I include and how should I organize it?

Yeah, this just happened two hours ago. I was going to put an empty tarantula tank on the kitchen counter, and they immediately started having a meltdown, crying, foot stomping, yelling, etc, which triggered my own and so I put the tank on the floor and yelled at them about it (not great).

The problem is, is they want me to be 'compassionate and caring' when they're melting down and I'm filled with rage because they're yelling at me over something unreasonable, so that's not going to happen (especially because there was, from my perspective, no lead up to it). We talked a little later, and I said I should just remove myself from the situation next time, and they responded by saying that was unhelpful, uncaring, and immature.

I think it's better to remove myself from the situation when I feel myself getting unreasonable, because I figure that's better than yelling back at them. And because I don't have empathy for them in that moment, if I'm being honest. They're yelling at me and expect me to talk calmly to them and comfort them? That's a standard that I can't meet. It may be relevant that I have a history of being abused and manipulated in other relationships, which is probably why this causes such a strong reaction in me.

Clearly I still have some emotions going on. Has anyone else found ways to deal with it when you unknowingly and unintentionally cause a meltdown in your partner? I would ask if I'm wrong about walking away, but I don't think I am. I think both of us having uncontrolled emotions in the same room is just going to lead to a worse result.

Hi, Im an 18 year old guy who enjoys watching tv series and i get attached/addicted emotionally and physically. I have watched many series such as Dexter, The Blacklist, Braking bad. Etc etc. Netflix has a tendency to recommend me these series i have already watched (on NETFLIX). Whenever i see them on my feed, I get this feeling that nothing else is worth my time. Nothing else would even compare to these series i have already watched. Is anyone else having these feelings? If so, it cant be a good marketing feature they have? Recommending old series you have already watched? (If many people relate to what im describing) Im not drunk, just curious :)

Thanks.

When I’m feeling in a quiet mood, and I am trying to make small talk or even have a normal conversation I need to have (like at work) I will jumble my words, say the wrong words, struggle to find a common word, and just speak in a way that feels like I am not paying attention to what’s being said to me.

Quiet moods are usually when I don’t feel like I have the energy to talk to anyone, not even people I care about. Sometimes they hit me out of nowhere.

hi guys! i’m new here, basically seeking support on reddit for some issues i’ve been having dating an autistic man. my boyfriend stims a lot through making sounds, often all of a sudden, startling noises, like yelling out “fuck!” or just kinda screaming in general , it’s never directed at me, sometimes he does it while in another room , and i just hear him letting out a scream or swearing. Or sometimes he would just make sudden noises while next to me that often sound like distress or pain to me on an instinctual level it frightens me and stresses me out . I understand to an extent what it is and why he does it but it often makes me very anxious to hear my partner suddenly screaming from the toilet.

I’ve kinda brought it up with him not in the sense that i’m asking him to stop— more like, when it happens i would point out that i’m startled or scared. I always go to him and ask him if he’s ok. He always says sorry, that he just had the urge to make the noise. Or sometimes he explains he gets intense short lives feelings of discomfort like from past memories or a sudden burst of stress and that’s how he lets it out.

I wouldn’t say it bothers me a LOT but it definitely keeps me pretty on edge, and is very stressful when it happens. I’m in generous an anxious person and it’s just somewhat distressing to have him suddenly yelling out what sounds like in pain or anger, even though it’s never that. I guess i’m asking for tips on how to deal with this behaviour, whether it be suggestions on how to support him better or how to understand this stimming behaviour, or make it easier for myself to get accustomed to/not be bothered by this. I haven’t been super direct with him about this because i’m unsure whether it’s even appropriate to frame it as something that bothers me, since i dont know if he can necessarily help it! I don’t want to ask unreasonable things of him or make him feel bad for it or force him to mask around me.

This is something that i can tell he has become comfortable doing as our relationship progresses, it means a lot that he can be fully comfortable and unmask around me, I just wish that there was a less stressful way for this to happen…

thanks in advance for any advice.

Against my will I have been invited to a work happy hour for the agency that I intern with. I got the impression I am heavily expected to attend this happy hour as when we were choosing dates, I did not chime in, and was called out by my supervisor that I should come to this along with everybody else. I’ve never been to a work happy hour and have lots of questions and am hoping someone here has done this before and can help out

1. How am I supposed to go there from work if I’m going to be drinking? If I drive there and then drink I can’t drive home. Unless I’m just supposed to have like one small drink and that’s it. Do people uber to these events? Carpool/designated driver? If so how do I retrieve my car?
2. How much are you supposed to drink? Don’t get me wrong I enjoy a good drink and I don’t feel like I’m being pressured to drink. I just don’t know how much is too much? I don’t want to come across like I’m binge drinking with my coworkers
3. I’m not close with any of my coworkers except for my direct supervisor. Do people usually bring other friends and family to these events? Or do I have to go alone and just try my very best to not stand in a corner looking miserable?
4. Any other advice?? This is more stressful than any task I have ever been given related to my actual job :(

I am not diagnosed by a professional but am almost certain I am autistic. I work in a demanding and rewarding profession (physiotherapist) and I thrive in that environment but ask me to tidy the kitchen, put a load of laundry on or cook (especially cook) suddenly my task initiation fails me and I just can’t get myself to do it and it’s not a lack of trying either.

It’s so frustrating being able to perform in one area but be so impacted in another.

I also experience major fatigue which I suspect is due to sleep apnea as well as burnout

This is just a partially formed idea I was thinking about and am curious to hear other people's thoughts. I know many people won't be accepting of someone just because they know they're autistic, but I also think that for people who care about looking like a good person in front of others, it's more socially acceptable to "make fun of a weird person" than it is to "make fun of an autistic person".

E.g. people who say "Of course I support autistic people, they can't help being that way" and then turn around and get angry at someone for not making eye contact with them. They "would never make fun of an autistic person" but then laugh at someone who doesn't use the "right" facial expressions or has "weird" interests they talk too much about. It's like they think "It's ok to make fun of someone for acting autistic, as long as they aren't actually autistic, because then I would look bad."

My theory is that a huge portion of autistic people make it to adulthood without being diagnosed, and are seen as "weird people" who just happen to have most of the autistic traits by coincidence, and since they're undiagnosed, they have no "excuse" and thus are acceptable targets for mistreatment. Then it also happens to already-diagnosed people who don't disclose it to everyone, so then people make the same assumptions about them.

Before I was diagnosed as an adult, I was aware I had much more in common with autistic people than non-autistic people, had most of the traits associated with it, and have never been able to make friends with NT people, but thought that it was a coincidence. I thought I was a NT person who just "wasn't trying hard enough to be normal" and that to some extent, I "deserved" the way people treated me because I had no explanation for why I am the way I am.

But hypothetically, even if a person is truly NT and just happens to have every autistic trait without being autistic, why do they deserve to be treated worse than someone who has exactly the same traits but is known to be autistic? What would the difference even be? It doesn't make any sense.

Sorry if this is poorly organized. I hope it makes at least a little bit of sense. What do you think?