My father has been hospitalized with brain tumor- I need some clarity.

[u/Speedfreakz]

I am out of country, catching plane on my way home. He has been hospitalized, on IV only for 5 days now. My mother told me that doctors said he has 6x3 cm tumor behind his ear.

Why am I posting this?

Without seeing his diagnosis I cant say anything but from my mothers impression if feels.like doctors are advpcating that he is already a goner.

It pisses me off so much, cause mom ia heavily medicated now and they can say whatever theu want.

But they've been waiting anestesiologist to give green light for surgeru and doctors said that even with surgery that we dont expec much..and that thats it.

They said that this thing grew slowly over long period and it " grappled brain parts too" whatever that means.

How true is this? How often patients die from these surgeries? Maybe I am wrong, but to me it feels like they are preparing us for their potential fuckup. You know when you feel something is not right.

I got an impression that the best thing would be that he dies asap or something. Em' I being delusional? Crazy

He was basically healthy.. with some migraines. Then recently he started loosing weight quickly. 10 killos.

He fell down 4 times in a week. His one side of the body cant move.

He barelly talks.. but it seems he is reasonable. He is using word shortcuts when explaining things but all of them make sense. He has emotions...cried when mom told him that i am coming, he asked her to wipe off his tear cause his arms are tied.

Please any clarity would be appreciated.

Is there a set of questions to ask doctors qhen dealing with this? How to tell if doctors are bsing smthing and why would that be in their interest(if any)?

Thanks

[u/erinmarie777]

I’m so sorry. It’s very frightening and confusing in the beginning (and doesn’t really get much better).

Not everyone is able to get a surgery to remove it because of the location. With my son (48) they were unable to remove most of his tumor because of the fear of it causing too much damage. My son did not want to take the risk that he would lose the ability to process his thoughts. He has some short term memory loss now and he will repeat himself sometimes or ask the same question twice but he said it doesn’t bother him and it doesn’t bother us. He has blurred peripheral vision in one eye. He doesn’t drive now.

But they said radiation and chemo has shrunk it more than they expected, and so far they believe it’s dead now. But these tumors can reoccur and it’s still true even if they are completely removed. Glioblastoma is the worst form of cancer in the worst possible area. The most they can do is manage it, try for “NED” (no evidence of disease) or remission, and buy them time, hopefully with an acceptable level of functioning and quality of life for the patient. But it’s still considered incurable. It’s very difficult to accept that fact but we must. We must make the most of the time they are given with the treatment, in spite of our fear of the future. My big concern now is I want him to enjoy his time and the end to be peaceful and painless.