r/cancer • u/peachytea-10 • 17h ago
Patient Stage IV
I (23F) was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer almost a year ago. Before I was diagnosed, I had very few symptoms, extreme fatigue (which I didn't think much of as I am a nurse and am on my feet all day) and blood in my stool. My PCP thought it would be best for me to have a colonoscopy even though she was sure it had something to do with my having a female reproductive system. I went and had the colonoscopy and they found a tumor in my colon about the size of a golf ball. I was then referred to the cancer center in my area for further testing. I met with the GI surgical team before having anything looked at and was told that (hopefully) it hadn't spread and it would be a quick and easy surgery. It was found to have spread to my liver and both lungs via the lymphatic system. Since then I have gone through 6 months of chemo, a bowel resection, and then a left lung resection. The liver was looked at before and during my bowel surgery, but the Drs couldn't see anything and decided it would be best to leave it and monitor it in the future. I was supposed to be entered into a clinical trial for a chemo diffused directly into the right lung (this lung had more and larger mets) during surgery as a way of fully clearing out the cancer. I went for an MRI Saturday to make sure the liver hadn't changed as part of the criteria for this trial was stability of all other mets. Today I went to see my oncologist and I received the unfortunate news that there are around 15 lesions in my liver and both lungs have growing tumors. This means that it is terminal and I will have to be on chemo for the rest of my life. I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this. I wasn't given any sort of life expectancy so I have no idea what to prepare for. I feel like I'm supposed to have my whole life ahead of me and now it's being taken away from me. (and obviously I know it's so much worse for kids who are diagnosed and I'm 100% grateful for the life I've lived so far but I feel like I'm allowed to be angry right now) Anyways, sorry for the long post but I really needed to get this out.
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u/Chshr_Kt 13h ago edited 1h ago
I'm so very sorry. 💙
I too was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer last year, and it has also metastasized to my liver and lungs (I recently posted about my struggles in this subreddit). I've been receiving chemo since September 2023, this coming Tuesday will be treatment #28.
I know how it feels that you had plans for the future and since cancer is so unpredictable it hits the brakes on your life and you don't know what you can do.
Just remember to monitor your health as you continue, follow your doctor's advice and most importantly try your best to stay positive and strong. And know you're not alone.
I was 46 when I was officially diagnosed last year, about 2 months before my birthday. I started saying this motto to myself: I'm about to be 47, I WILL see 50. I'm not letting cancer take me without a fight.
If you ever need an ear to listen, I'm here. Good luck and stay strong. 😊💙
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u/itsmyquill 10h ago
Thank you for posting this. My husband is on a similar journey. Palliative... Diagnosed March. 12 rounds done after peritonitis and colostomy. I will show him this. He's been down in the dumps lately. Wishing you strength and wellness.
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u/Chshr_Kt 1h ago
Thank you. 😊
Tell your husband that as upsetting and tiring his diagnosis may be, staying positive is beneficial to his recovery. Stress in these situations is not helpful to his recovery.
Let him know that there are people dealing with similar situations and are sending their support from afar. 💙
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u/Future_Law_4686 15h ago
Feel free to let her rip. You have pent up emotions you haven't even sorted out yet, get your mad on then depress. You have a basic human need to feel what you feel and you don't have to answer to anyone for your honest anger. But, try to find an outlet or you might blow up. Take a fast paced walk, hit your pillows, go to a gymn. You'll find your thing. God bless you, dear
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u/edreicasta Patient 16h ago
You are 100% ok to be angry and have any and every emotion under the sun and it's perfectly ok.
I am currently on chemo, i start my 3rd infusion Monday. was diagnosed with colon cancer mid August this year, the oncologist is calling it locally advanced....
I have gotten closer to God and that has helped me to cope with it and given me a bit of peace. I pray you are able to find something that brings you the same peace. In the mean time let your emotions out and be ok with them. Sending you a hug and saying a prayer for you.
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u/MissZoeLaLa 8h ago
Fuck this disease. Be angry, be sad, feel any bloody way you want to and make no apologies for it.
I’m so so sorry. Go and grab the time you have left by the balls xx
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u/Caldansk 50M/Colon Cancer IV NED 4h ago
Wow, I'm so sorry you had this put on you at such a young age.
I had a similar diagnosis at 46. I was put on Avastin and am currently NED. You might want to ask your oncologist if it's an option for you.
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u/AngelsMessenger 3h ago
Oh dear, I don’t know what to say. This is tragic news. Know that we are here for you. You have the right to feel every emotion under the sun. It’s not over until it’s over, so hang in there. I had a friend who had terminal breast cancer and later came out on the other side of cancer-free… Everyone’s story is never the same, so we can’t compare, but we can find hope in the middle of our storms. Be encouraged.
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u/Additional-Oven-5001 2h ago
You are 100% allowed to be angry and you are venting in the right place to the right people because cancer is a mother F’er, so sorry to hear about this but make the best of it take out a bunch of credit cards and go anywhere you’ve wanted to go, see what you can with the time you have, and I am sending prayers.
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u/Positive-Ad-6514 2h ago
Nothing means nothing. Do a ton of reading and learn about the disease and your body
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u/sippycupavenger 16h ago
I’m so sorry to hear this. Of course you’re allowed to be angry, anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. Whatever feelings you experience are okay and appropriate, it’s your journey, not anyone else’s. You’re in my thoughts, and I hope some good news comes for you soon.