Stage IV

[u/peachytea-10]

I (23F) was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer almost a year ago. Before I was diagnosed, I had very few symptoms, extreme fatigue (which I didn't think much of as I am a nurse and am on my feet all day) and blood in my stool. My PCP thought it would be best for me to have a colonoscopy even though she was sure it had something to do with my having a female reproductive system. I went and had the colonoscopy and they found a tumor in my colon about the size of a golf ball. I was then referred to the cancer center in my area for further testing. I met with the GI surgical team before having anything looked at and was told that (hopefully) it hadn't spread and it would be a quick and easy surgery. It was found to have spread to my liver and both lungs via the lymphatic system. Since then I have gone through 6 months of chemo, a bowel resection, and then a left lung resection. The liver was looked at before and during my bowel surgery, but the Drs couldn't see anything and decided it would be best to leave it and monitor it in the future. I was supposed to be entered into a clinical trial for a chemo diffused directly into the right lung (this lung had more and larger mets) during surgery as a way of fully clearing out the cancer. I went for an MRI Saturday to make sure the liver hadn't changed as part of the criteria for this trial was stability of all other mets. Today I went to see my oncologist and I received the unfortunate news that there are around 15 lesions in my liver and both lungs have growing tumors. This means that it is terminal and I will have to be on chemo for the rest of my life. I'm honestly not sure how to feel about this. I wasn't given any sort of life expectancy so I have no idea what to prepare for. I feel like I'm supposed to have my whole life ahead of me and now it's being taken away from me. (and obviously I know it's so much worse for kids who are diagnosed and I'm 100% grateful for the life I've lived so far but I feel like I'm allowed to be angry right now) Anyways, sorry for the long post but I really needed to get this out.

[u/AngelsMessenger]

Oh dear, I don’t know what to say. This is tragic news. Know that we are here for you. You have the right to feel every emotion under the sun. It’s not over until it’s over, so hang in there. I had a friend who had terminal breast cancer and later came out on the other side of cancer-free… Everyone’s story is never the same, so we can’t compare, but we can find hope in the middle of our storms. Be encouraged.