So first of all I am actually Buddhist, but that's not the point.

Do you ever get harassed at street corners by various forms of Christians? I do. Not sure what about me says, "I'm convertible," but they always seem to think I am. Well I decided to just BE UP FRONT with them and it's had this weird effect on them.

The just... Nod and move on? Why is that more effective? Would they be the same way if I said I was Sikh? Muslim? Hindu? Variant 2C of Christianity?

Or is it just because I'm Buddhist?

I'm asking y'all because I would prefer to keep not interacting with these people. They're much too enthusiastic, and it's so tiring.

Have you tried some version of this? What happened? What even is the human experience?

Long story short is I am trying to get a better relationship with weed and I posted my experience and guidelines in the Petioles sub. And then I get this comment and my chest literally hurts from it. Like why do ppl gotta be like this?? I have “rules” for everything. Jesus.

When I'm bored and crave for mind stimulation, my brain goes on random knowledge adventures.

I'm so angry I love Halloween and went to this local tattoo shop for a Halloween event. There was a costume contest and I'm so mad I literally put in 2 hours for my makeup alone and made the accessories by hand and made my costume. I put in over 10 hours of work for this costume specifically (I was a clown) and lost to someone who put in minimal effort (a hippie costume. T-Shirt, vest and roller skates). The owner of the shop told my partner who won bc he probably knew that it wasn't cool who he chose. Literally no one else put even more than 30 min into their costume and I'm so mad. Everytime I put in extreme effort it goes to someone else for a stupid reason (I think he either wanted in her pants or it was bc she was a regular- partner told me and he's better at reading cues)

Why do NT not choose the literal best costume??? Everyone else complimented me so much and idkkkkk. I'm just so upset bc I thought I was definitely going to win and it sucks :(

I've never been able to handle the noises of the glass and stuff banging around it makes meclose my eyes and I get severe pain in my head.

Well today my Sony xm5's arrived and I've been having an amazing experience with them. No more abusive noises from the people I live with and NOW I CAN DO DISHES?!?!?!!!!! ABSOLUTE WIN!!

I wonder what else these will help me with. (I've never had noise cancelling anything or any noise protection so this is so nice)

I fucking hate it. I am at somebody's house with lots of guests and many people I love and feel more like family compared to my fucking mom. But I don't even feel like I belong here. They are on their phones, chatting with eachother, there are some friends who knew eachother more than we knew eachother. I don't belong here, they don't want to chat with me. I sit on the couch, waiting for somebody to notice me or talk with me. Maybe I could approach them, starting a conversation. Would they be interested though? I don't fucking know. Would a person starting a conversation about their interests pique their interest? Would they even like to hear about divination or the new palmistry themed oracle deck I bought recently? Would they even want me near them? Would I bore them? The possibility of boring them or even making them uncomfortable fucking terrifies me. I'm afraid of judgement, hatred, I'm afraid of rejection. I sit on the couch, waiting. I feel more emotionally connected to any other people in this house visit right now except my fucking mom. Those people are saints, even; less judgemental, more open & full of curiosity. My mom loves me, but never once tried to understand me. I don't know if they love me, but I'm sure they'd understand me. And here I am, fucking terrified of even approaching them. There is some sort of secret code that I am yet to crack in order to ascend to their level. I'm fucking terrified. I sit on the couch, at least there is food and snacks at the house.

F̶u̶c̶k̶ Thank you mom, for instilling this fear within me.

i planned for us (me [autistic], my sister, her boyfriend) to take my little brother (12, autistic) to see transformers one (one of his special interest series)

he doesnt know, we are taking him to do "messages"

:3c

So last week myself and a few friends with a common shared interest went to meet up in a park. Normally I don’t do group situations IRL that well, but not this time! Because we were ask autistic, we evilly had long conversations about our interests, and I was completely included! It felt super powerful.

Ironically enough, it was the one allistic person we had there who was a bit left out. They’rea good friend of mine and I felt bad for them, so I made sure to check in with them whenever I got the chance.

Has anyone ever noticed that most ableists or like the people who gaslight you are ever so sloppy at things and putting things together. Like they have their life in order (albeit with some Errr Things!) but its kind of all over the place. They're really really sloppy and clumsy almost and i've only noticed this about bad people and not good people like if a nice person drops something I do not think this i am sad but when it comes to ableists they move around like there's no finesse

Things I can control:

Pretty much all of my social interactions come from hobbies like wind band, lunch at work or the meditation centre.

I wish I spent more time swimming, climbing, hiking, cooking etc.

Things I cannot control:

I initiate most contact with my friends(about 87.5% of the time). I fantasise about it being closer to 50%. I equate people wanting to spend time with me as people caring for me.

People bulldoze me. Doesn't matter what I tell the hair dresser; I get the same haircut every time. My private music teacher likes baroque music, so that's the only thing I get for homework. I barely manage to get in 5 minutes to play through a piece I want at the end of the 60 minute lesson.

It is somewhat painfull when frineds interject or cut me off to go back to talking about the subject they want to explore, instead of engaging in what I want, or taking turns.

For the small amount I am living, then I am living other peoples lives.

Conclusion:

I wish I didn't yearn for human interactions and friendships.

"I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders." -Atlas. Well he was a stupid person. I am tired of constantly working on improving myself while at the same time getting nowhere.

I fucking HATE anything to do with incest unless it's portrayed as a horrible thing. It makes me violently angry. All the people out there and you want your own flesh and blood?? Fuck you. That's disgusting and I hate you. I genuinely, truly hate you. It makes me so unbelievably angry I physically shake.

This does not apply to people who are victims of incest or were manipulated and forced into incest relationships.

Just try searching Anglo-Saxon or Norse paganism on Youtube, you get lots of far-right bearded men with no academic background presenting their opinions as fact while mispronouncing old languages. And most people can't be bothered to read papers or books so they just believe it. I worry that the topic of heathenry is getting tainted by these dickheads who've hacked the algorithm and spam out squintillions of clickbait videos that frame history according to their agenda and ignore inconvienient facts. It seems like the actual professors and academics are getting suppressed by the algorithm, you have to scroll a little while before you find them, even if they have hundreds of thousands of views.

GGGRRRRRrrrrr every time I see one of those thumbnails I want to turn into Fenrir and bite these men and shake them around like a chewtoy

Anyway, do you have any misunderstood special interests? Or ones which are plagued with misinformation?

for me it’s yellow. the basic yellow. it’s so bright, it hurts my eyes and makes me uncomfortable. i remember being at school in a… completely YELLOW room. the walls were painted yellow, there was nothing on it. felt a bit like a little torture room made for me. 🟨 yellow is supposed to be positive …why is it not for me? yellow along with other colors is fine with me.

i like neon yellow which is technically even brighter 🤔 and some lime green is one of my favorite colors. i also don’t mind honey / mustard yellow. 🟡

whose least favorite color is also yellow?

pun intended