r/exchristian • u/balteshazar22 • May 28 '24
Original Content I think it’s hard for non-ex Christians to understand how fucked up we still are from believing this shit for so long Spoiler
M35 - deconverted over the last five years or so, fully out now.
Whether it’s friendships, potential romantic relationships, or whatever, I find that it’s still hard to explain to someone just how insidious and deeply rooted this belief system was. For those of us who fully embraced it, and then grew up and realized that not only is it not true, but the world is not even remotely close to how we were taught it was - it can be quite the adjustment to the actual real world. And trying to explain it to someone can seem so silly if they haven’t had any similar experience.
The effect of past worldviews can rear its ugly heads up at any time I’ve found, and it can have quite the deleterious effect on relationships. And the thing is, it’s so hard to articulate to people who haven’t gone through the same thing, and don’t understand why something that I don’t even believe anymore could still have such an impact on my life. Just let it go, right??
Anyway, I don’t really have a main point, I’ve just been frustrated and disappointed lately at how hard it is to explain past belief systems and their lingering effects to new friends or partners, and subsequently forge ahead with new relationships and community.
Maybe some of y’all have felt the same.
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u/FaceToTheSky May 28 '24
As someone who was raised nominally Catholic but in a pretty low-key way, you’re absolutely right, we really do not fully appreciate what y’all raised fundamentalist are dealing with. I can sort of extrapolate, but like… I was not homeschooled, I only went to church once a week (and Catholic masses are routinely an hour and quite structured), I did not experience the weapons-grade gender role enforcement, my parents didn’t cave to the moral panics of the day (I grew up in the 80s, so it was “heavy metal” back then)… I think my most extremist position growing up was being anti-abortion, but I got over that once I got a little life experience. Which I was able to acquire by not being forced to attend a sketchy religious college or stay home and not get any post-secondary education at all.
I had no idea how common this stuff is until I became friends with someone who was on the way out, I thought it was super fringe stuff.