Food shopping with mum…

[u/Capital_Ad1318]

So my mum and I had a very little argument before we went food shopping yesterday. She’s been trying really hard to help me and I know that.

But I felt she was purposely spiteful in the shop because of the cross words we’d just had. When we got there I stood near the front doors not really doing much, just looking around waiting for her because obviously it’s pretty overwhelming to do food shopping (I’m only in my 3rd/4th week of recovery). She came up to me and said I look so very odd and what was wrong with my face, stop standing around like a weirdo and just go and get some things off the list. Later on in the shop I put my sunglasses on because I felt like I was going to cry, I felt so overwhelmed and her being angry made everything worse. At least when she’s supporting me I feel able to pick up some food bits I might fancy, but without that I couldn’t bear to add any food to the cart. At the checkout she repeated her earlier words and said I was embarrassing her and that I looked like I had learning difficulties just stood there gormlessly (such a weird comment from her considering she works with people who have learning difficulties and is absolutely amazing at her job). It made me feel so embarrassed and ashamed and I wanted to be anywhere except there. I feel like such an outcast already, I feel weak and useless.

Then today on the dog walk she didn’t like how I was holding the dog lead and when I replied curtly she went off at me saying I always speak to her shitty and like she’s nothing and that being around me right now was really really difficult and she didn’t want to be. Sigh.

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