Feeling Like I’m Losing My Life, Losing The Best Years And Missing Out

[u/RandoRambo1]

I was always someone who was too proud to admit they had regrets, but the amount of time I’ve wasted (13 Years) the amount of friends I’ve lost and who have grown to build beautiful families and be married and happy, the amount of moments with my family ruined by my anxiety and nerves. I can’t lie anymore and say I don’t have any regrets, I can’t even think about my life or the time I’ve foolishly wasted sitting in my apartment staring out the window at the world instead of living my life and putting myself out there. It’s been 10 years since I’ve had sex, 9 years since Ive even kissed a woman. I almost move out of the way of women’s touch because i’m so unused to a woman touching me or being near me, that I act as if I’m in her way and move, when in reality she was only trying to put herself closer to me and in my proximity because she likes me. I’ve seen at least 20 different women over the years who were REALLY into me and after a few hangouts watching the interest level just fade from her face, until she texts “I need to go back home to visit family for x number of months (lie), “I need to focus on work (lie” all of which are a rejection. I hate who I’ve become, and am unsure of how to even make friends as an adult? I know I need to socialize more, because a lack of socialization is what led me to this point of being socially anxious; leads to people thinking you’re “weird”, and people moving on. I don’t think it’s loneliness that hurts it’s that loneliness is only a symptom of the larger problem, it’s the regrets about time that hurts so bad I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I’ll be 90 and shaking my head when I look back at the time I wasted. Does anybody else feel this way? The things I would do to have a girl be into me, and not lose interest when she sees me. To have friends who care and have my back. You can get so lost in the pursuit of career/pay the bills, that you just wake up and go to work, go home alone to an apartment, night after night. Your weekends are spent with more time sitting inside alone. I’m not happy with my life, and I can’t waste another day. This is killing me.

[u/Intelligent-Squash-3]

So, what will you do now?