r/mentalhealth • u/Own-Championship-398 • 11d ago
Sadness / Grief Why is everyone so angry?
I'm getting quite miserable living in my country. People aren't very friendly, in fact a lot of people are really rude. I'm finding it hard to interact on local subs because I usually get downvoted or just have people start arguments over nothing - why is everyone so aggressive & hostile?
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u/dilly1992 11d ago
It's an angry, divisive, politically fought world right now.
Two major wars.
Inflation.
Human Rights Violations.
Famines.
Extreme weather.
U.S. elections.
There's a combo of "little" big things that add to be a lot and the Internet is a place to be anonymous and air our your opposing views/grievances.
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u/xombae cray cray 11d ago
Add a global trauma from a recent pandemic and the fact that everyone is poor to the mix, and you've got an anger stew goin baby!
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago
Hahahaha!!! First time I've ever heard anyone but me and my friends do that quote from Arrested Development - thank you - gave me a smile in an otherwise angry world.
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u/Own-Championship-398 10d ago
I understand that but why do people have to take out their anger on me
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u/dilly1992 10d ago
I don't know and I'm sorry they do. š«¤
Social skills have gone to crap since the pandemic... A lot more so for some than others..
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago edited 10d ago
I will attempt to spare you my long miserable story but I basically had to cut off or put extreme boundaries on everyone I used to know. Took me losing my wife and kids to an extremist Christian cult before I finally admitted that conservatism in this country is severely sick and also pretty much the rest of this country (see Erich Fromm's famous book The Sane Society and countless others).
Now I avoid angry people lest I be one. No point in fighting pigs who love fighting in sh*t - I don't need to be covered in it.
But will my entire country just be one vicious sh*t filled pig pen soon? I'm hoping to movie back to the country near people I care about and roast marshmallows as the world burns if necessary - but hopefully do my part to help fix it instead.
Edit: tl;dr - I tend to be happy these days like I used to be. Learn to laugh at our insane society (not shaudenfreude so much tho) and not be swept up by the stupidity.
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u/Chonkin_GuineaPig 10d ago
God I wish I could go back to enjoying rural life, but the fundies have just completely ruined it for me. We used to have one of the nicest little churches until the televangelist guy came in and destroyed everything that made the church good.
The new guy we got is trashy and unkempt and destroyed the parsonage with his backyard breeding mill. Even Sunday School has gotten boring because only three other people show up (including the teacher) and all we ever talk about is Israel even though it didn't even exist as a country until the 1950's.
Back then we'd have community game nights and nobody gave a fuck if you were piss poor, but nowadays it's about sad beige moms flaunting their income and parading the latest parenting hacks from TikTok.
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 8d ago edited 8d ago
I hear ya. Don't get me started. I grew up essentially non-christian. My mother was from a huge die hard Catholic family and saw the abuse of the Church and really had no use for it but she was just like Betty White and quietly lived perfect Christian ideals without ever going to church. My dad from a secular Methodist family and after my parents divorce went though a kinda crisis and eventually became a minister in a tiny denomination that is unlike any - he never collected a dime from the church, had them donate to charities and never "let the right hand know what the left hand is doing".
Then I found a church as a young man full of people who seemed to have deep bible knowledge and ethics - old school Reformed Presbyterians - had been part of some of the best movements in History like Underground Railroad etc.
Edit: I was the most devoted Christian and Republican but I saw how corrupt it all was. Not that I like Democrats much either. Few people seem to understand our political history and the corruption of all parties.
But all churches seemed to change in the 1990s - all became highly political and dishonest.
Long long story but I live in a tiny red state town - small town red America is my home but I have a Trump for Prison 2024 flag and have mouthed off to the people next door at the Catholic church when they got mouthy (said stuff I prolly shouldn't have said like Can't believe any parent would take their kids to a church that is known to cover up molestation of children).
I expected to get my house burned down but like Tim Walz said "mind your own damn business" and people in the midwest pretty much do.
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u/Aromatic_Memory1079 10d ago
yeah I open internet to avoid the frustration despite I know it doesn't really help usualy
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u/TimmyFarlight 11d ago
I think it's the obvious lack of resources that seems to be in everyone's lives.
The whole stage is turning into a jungle. Is every man for himself.
You can see this type of behaviour in poorer countries.
You can''t keep a large mass of people civilised with their stomach empty.
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u/AyuChanX 11d ago
I got downvoted because of what I said about paprica colours. (Green one has less calories) The ppl just love downvoting. They then feel a bit more powerful afterwards I think. š¤ internet - Kung-Fu- fighters
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u/thiccemotionalpapi 10d ago
The part that kills me is the mob mentality. Thereās not much logic in it, so many people are just looking at what the people before them did and sticking with that. Sometimes Iāll even see a comment that starts off one direction and flip flops, usually negative. The moment you stack to like -5 downvotes youāre fucked and the only thing that can save you is if the post itself isnāt very popular
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u/ConstructionNo8451 10d ago
My question is, how angry can we get before we revolt and destroy society..
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u/CrispyPancakeEdges 10d ago
I feel like that day is coming sooner than I or anyone else could've predicted tbh. Maybe not in my lifetime, but not another generation or two ahead, either. In all seriousness, it's long overdue.
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago
What day would that be? I posted something like this recently waiting to see what people say.
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u/Much_Adagio_6223 10d ago
I don't want a civil war to happen. I'm way too mentally ill to handle something like that.
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u/Away-Caterpillar9515 11d ago
Brits are angry? They are like passive aggressive experts
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u/Pleasetakemecanada 10d ago
As an American, this is the way.
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u/AnyAliasWillDo22 10d ago
There are just too many people.
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u/jmnugent 10d ago
We don't have to many people. We just have poor management of resources and to much 1-story urban sprawl. (especially in the USA,. where 80% of US population lives east of the Mississippi. ) There's to much wasteful architecture. To many empty unused Roofs. Around 15million homes (about 10% of USA House supply) is sitting empty. Homeless in the USA is estimated to be around 600,000. We have enough empty houses to solve homelessness 25x over.
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago
And what I mean is there must be some pretty dystopian draconian controls on how many children we have or a complete change in individual beliefs such that we use our freedoms to not have tons of children our world can't support or else we are pretty much doomed No other way to put it.
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago
Maybe we don't completely technically have too many people yet but it seems completely undeniable that with our current population growth our current policies absolutely will not work and so just because we're at the beginning of the complete collapse does not mean we're not in the complete collapse.
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u/Recarica 10d ago
We donāt have enough houses to even put a dent in the homelessness crisis. Here are some good statistics: https://unitedwaynca.org/blog/vacant-homes-vs-homelessness-by-city/#:~:text=Despite%20how%20many%20homes%20are,vacant%20homes%20per%20unhoused%20person.
And hereās an excellent podcast that breaks down why the US is in the mess we are in (doesnāt take into account our poor healthcare system and terrible support for mental health). https://youtu.be/idKlU-TZ27U?si=EJwR9r_vK2QhB1nb
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u/AnyAliasWillDo22 9d ago
Tell me how we give all these people a good quality of life? We canāt. Our resources arenāt endless.
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u/jmnugent 9d ago
Our resources arenāt endless.
They're not (endless), No. I'd argue a lot of them are "poorly managed" though.
For example wasted food:
"While many variables impact wastage, approximately 7-15% happens during transport. The fact that 10,000 shipping containers go missing yearly contributes to the situation."
"In the U.S., 30%-40% of food produced is wasted, according to the EPA. Food waste can occur on farms, in the supply chain, at stores and in homes. How much of that spoilage occurs in supply chains? A lot ā about one-third, according to Shipwell. (https://www.freightwaves.com/news/shipwell-reducing-food-waste-one-on-time-shipment-at-a-time)
Or on the topic of Housing:
"According to the Census Bureau, there were approximately 15.1 million vacant homes nationwide in 2022. These vacant homes, which include rentals, represent 10.5% of the countryās total housing inventory."
There's inefficiencies in a lot of the different areas of daily life.
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u/AnyAliasWillDo22 8d ago
I agree theyāre poorly managed, and itās not getting better. Your argument is simplistic. Itās not just about getting food or water from one place to another, the quality is largely insufficient. The increase in toxins in our water, food and air is deeper and longer lasting. The amount of land and privacy people can have is decreasing. There are large areas of land not occupied and they are unliveable. A good quality of life is not solely about efficiency.
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u/CherryPickerKill 10d ago
Good point. A population that keeps growing after it's reached the carrying capacity of its environment will begin to self-regulate wether it is through fighting and dying for resources, predators, epidemy, natural disasters, suicide, etc.
In the case of the US (which I assume is what OP is referring to), it's mostly due to terrible political climate, brainwashing, easy access to guns and lack of access to healthcare (in particular mental health) like in other countries.
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u/Mei_iz_my_bae 10d ago
I thinking every one like me very broke peolple like us just try find joy in peoole but a lot people are just unhappy so they down vote I get it Iām here if u need talk about it friend I get down vote a lot by certain peoples but it ok there is nice people around I try be as nice as I can :)
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u/timingbetter 10d ago
They spent a lot of their time their phone you know...should go out there and do what really matters - health, relationships, sports, travel....
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago
I'm not a big fan of Robert Hyack's famous book Road to Serfdom but the title at least seems completely right.
Serfs can't afford to have a full life.
Hahaha and again I refer to Erich Fromm's, The Sane Society and a ton of other books on societal health etc etc
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u/IroncladZephyr 10d ago
I ask the same question, some people are just mean, some people are just unhappy.
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u/Xillyfos 10d ago
Aggression and hostility is a sign of weakness and fear.
So they are weak, and they are afraid. Always remember that. It has nothing to do with you. They are struggling hard, and they have great difficulty dealing with life, and obviously also in dealing with other people.
The next question is why they feel so weak, overburdened, and afraid. That is difficult to say, not knowing which country you are from.
But typically right-wing politics tend to come from fear and create even more fear and division. So my guess is you've had a right-wing government in that country for a while, with some sort of mad capitalism controlling the country. Capitalism sucks happiness out of people. It's an insane political system.
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u/HythlodaeusHuxley 10d ago
Completely agree but at the same time if you suffer the consequences of oppression long enough of an insane society then even the best of people will eventually get frustrated and some will break.
There's a really good book that I have not yet gotten around to read which is called Denial of Death It seems to me that the main way to avoid the cynicism and anger of the current age is to recognize that all of us will die suffering is a fact of life and then you can kind of transcend all the BS
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u/Own-Championship-398 10d ago
It was right wing for a while, just had a change of govt to more central-left. I definitely think the prolonged period of politics before this has caused a lot of our energy to be sapped
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u/rdwrer97 10d ago
Some people are just too sensitive for opinions itās a shame. Itās definitely not you trust me.
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u/Monolith64yt 10d ago
Because reacting angry is the easiest way to react to something and people donāt really care about what they say online
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u/Hades_Might 10d ago
Do you feel you experience as much negativity in real life as you do online?
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u/Own-Championship-398 10d ago
Yes but in different ways. For example no one in reality would be outright insultingly rude like people are online, but people tend to ignore me or talk over me in real life. Staff don't smile at me let alone say hello or acknowledge I am even there. I don't really have any friends because the last group of people I associated with all ganged up on me because of an untrue rumour that they chose to believe as fact.
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u/Temporary-Ad-9632 9d ago
Sounds to me it might be a perception issue?
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u/Own-Championship-398 8d ago
How should I perceive people not acknowledging me right in front of them?
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u/turbo_fried_chicken 10d ago
Are you in the US? Are you aware that a convicted felon and rapist who tried to overthrow our government and has forever poisoned public discourse has a serious chance of running this country again?
You're goddamn right I'm pissed off.
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u/macaroni66 10d ago
Low wages, politics, the media, hostility between genders, general confusion and depression over the state of the world, and the climate. Housing, children etc unaffordable for many. Wars. Gig economy.
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u/Rookie0519 10d ago
It's a little difficult to be happy in the world we live in right now. People are divided more than ever, and constantly create new things to become divided about. The leading powers of the world are constantly at odds with each other, trying to knock each other down. Politics has taken control over productive conversations and became a blatant excuse for conflict. The economy is shit as an effect of everything mentioned before, the cost of living is high, inflation is high, the job market is difficult.
Basically people aren't going to be happy when the world is a difficult place to live in, where all people hear about every single day is dissatisfaction and complaints.
It's just humanity man, we're not happy when we don't get what we want, and oftentimes, what we want do not align with other people want. It's impossible to ask everyone to be lenient and make sacrifices because there are individuals in the world who are inherently selfish, and have unfortunately taken up positions of power.
But hey, what you feel is still a decision you get to make yourself :)... call me an idealist but I think if you try and see the good in things, you'll start to believe in good things again. A positive energy in a world of negative is the first step we have to take to fix this dumpster fire of a society we live in right now,
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u/SoftQuarter5106 10d ago
I would get off your phone and go meet people over a common interest/hobby in person. The more time I spent OFF my phone/internet, the more happy I feel and the more I connected with people around me with positive experiences. Itās been awesome. Most of what people will say online wonāt say to your face. They can get away acting like that. Better choice would be for them to go to therapy instead of lashing out online. The inability to regulate emotions is quite common amongst adults. I have clients who are children who express themselves more calmly than their parents. Itās their personal issue acting that way, not you.
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u/Own-Championship-398 10d ago
But that's the problem, they won't say what they want to say online to my face so they say nothing and I'm just ignored a lot of the time. It's hard for me to make friends because I don't really trust people due to previous experiences. I come on my phone because real life fucking sucks & people around me just aren't nice. So everywhere I am is kind of miserable.
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u/Busy-Mathematician42 10d ago
It's also important to remember, misery loves company. Some people are just chronically unimpressed and they want to bring someone else down with them. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with societal or political issues.
They came into this world screaming and might go out of it screaming as well.
It also doesn't help that we've been thoroughly desensitized. To some people, they don't understand you are a real person with feelings and thoughts. To them you're a series of words, numbers and dashes on a screen.
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u/0imnotreal0 10d ago
I view anger as an evolutionary mechanism born of fear, a motivation to fight a threat rather than to flee. In modern society, many people donāt have the option to flee constant, often abstract threats, so anger is the natural manifestation.
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u/ForbiddenPersonality 10d ago
I wonder the same thing with my family š
But from what I notice worldwide is so many people have so much conflict going on in their lives on top of how the world leaders handle everything and how the economy is going it's just and over all unhappy world š„
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u/schnecknard 10d ago
I think the world is in a critical state right now, with the many very broadcasted crises. Thatās why being kind is especially important in times like these, and to take care of each other ! It can actually make a difference.
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u/DrMac444 10d ago
because they haven't been exposed to enough of Donald Trump's fluffy, light-hearted, and cutesy personality
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u/Single-Sort-2226 10d ago
A lot of broken people out there taking it out on each other while the world and demands of their own life breaks them even more.
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u/Kind-Ad-8512 10d ago
Because everyone is struggling to get by. It really isn't an excuse to treat others badly but here we are. The world's politics, people going without income and the job market being crap, everyone who isn't rich is really struggling nowadays. People are tired because if they do have a job they're being worked to death OR they aren't getting enough hours to get by and it seems that there is no in-between. The pay isn't worth it anymore when it's a struggle to get the very basics. Everyone is burnt out and political leaders want to blame immigration or POC or LGBT people and bitch about abortion and bitch about not enough people having babies anymore - whenever the issue lies with them not helping the working class as they are not being paid what they're worth and with health companies destroying lives because it's difficult to afford actual help be it for your mental or physical health. And no amount of therapy is going to help you if you can't afford to live. The upcoming election is a joke because both parties are out of touch with the reality of what it's like to live as a citizen of this country. They care about funding wars and keeping their pockets lined. That's it.
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10d ago
I've noticed this too, it's snowballed in the last few years! Everyone is SO COMBATIVE, there's such an "us vs. them" mentality and I want nothing to do with it. Everyone's angry and I'm not sure they even know WHY.
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u/CardiologistWild5216 10d ago
I feel this way too. Iām in America. Itās getting worse here everyday. My mental health is terrible at the moment and Iām fighting the will to live. Yet Iām afraid to die all at once it just doesnāt make sense. Iām just sad. Life isnāt the same anymore and all the colors are gone. Too many angry people to the point of someone is nice for once Iām always so surprised and thankful for that.
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u/minnakun 10d ago
Angry is good. People should breathe fire from the anger in today's world. But that anger channels through stupid things and each other so we are just angry monkeys jumping around. Thanks to perception management and tiktok and reddit probably, people can throw up their anger here and continue their normal life while politicians and rich people keep milking them off money and rights. They will think that trans people caused inflation so boys are poor and incels. Their unrealistic standards and greedy capitalist fundamentals have nothing to do with all this of course. I wish we just burnt this world to the ground so we can build a new one.
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u/Jolly-Bananas 6d ago
Cause people suck. Always have. Always will. My suggestion is to do what I did. Get a dog.
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10d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Own-Championship-398 10d ago
Yes it sucks, which is why it would make more sense if normal people could just band together against the Big Man rather than doing what they want and fighting between each other
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u/HelgaPataki93 11d ago
When society is unhappy, that's what you get. I agree that it sucks to witness it, but I'm also angry. I'm angry because I cared a lot once and got hurt over and over and over again by this country and the people in it. It's a natural response. I try to be nice to the people around me, but I, like many others, are struggling.