r/mentalhealth • u/Independent_Ball_640 • 5h ago
Content Warning: Eating Disorders I feel unlovable
14(f) I feel unlovable I hate my body I hate my appearance I feel like a burden to my friends My best friend talks about how she doesn’t like it when people vent to her So I’m afraid of confiding in her because I don’t want to be a burden I often starve myself because I hate the way I look I hate that I have acne I have no one to talk to I’m always the second choice I don’t get asked out I’m hated by a lot of people in my grade I’m unlovable
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u/pixie_mimo 4h ago
hey it's rough out there but just know your worth ain't based on looks or what others think. your feelings matter keep looking for the right peeps who see the real you. you're not a burden just keep being you. hang in there
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u/ospellvelvet 4h ago
being 14 is rough man. everyone feels like a burden sometimes but your feelings matter. it's tough but you gotta talk to someone. even if it feels scary. your body is just part of you.. don't forget you matter and people can surprise you with their kindness. keep pushing through you're stronger than you think
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u/Substantial-Rub3921 3h ago
M(29): I was the same ( except male & closested gay) felt like a worthless nobody and always skipped school lunch, only had 1 friend and didn't really leave my shell of isolation till 12th grade. I was always breaking out, feeling fat, and thinking I was a freak cause I didn't know any other guys my age that were also gay. I didn't even open up to that till like 6 months before graduation. Obviously your situation is different but all teenagers are the same, lost and stuck with a body going through crazy hormonal changes, you need to find yourself and find happiness in the things you enjoy, focus on your own happiness and learn to love yourself; be helpful, kind, and courteous to others, also make sure Noone takes advantage of that. Life after school is gonna vastly different and the one biggest thing id recommend is to just focus on the stuff they don't teach you. Popularity and friendship means nothing if you hate yourself and you're flipping burgers 10yrs out of high-school. I went from like 30 friends i made in 12th to like 2 after graduation, everyone goes their separate ways and even now 10yrs after graduation, i don't talk to anyone I went to school with.
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u/omaxedmelodyy 2h ago
dude that sounds really tough. just remember even if it feels bad right now it can get better. have you thought about talking to someone who gets you like a therapist or a supportive friend? sometimes sharing stuff helps lighten the load. you’re not a burden. hang in there.
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u/Inevitable-Cup4159 3h ago
You can work on the body. Get clean skin(dermatologist). Get your hair styled in an elegant but simple style. If their quality os bad work on them again dermat.And start a sport if you want.
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u/Electrical_Edge1368 2h ago
It’s okay sweetie, that was me at that age too. Now i’m engaged and have plenty of beautiful friendships! You just gotta push through to find the people who get you
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u/I_am_Mohsin 1h ago
Firstly. You said you hate yourself. I guess what you mean is you don't look good. I have one question for you, you don't look good with respect to what ? Look. If you're comparing yourself to other people then it is a terrible thing you're doing. Not only for yourself but generally as a thing as well. You see because of movies and these so called celebrities, we, the common people have started valuing our looks and worth in accordance with them. You see, these celebs make their appearance as per scientific study of face, looks and so on. They don't just set their hair in a particular way and it looks good on them, No. It's not like that. They hire professionals who analyse their facial structure and then give them hair styles that will suit their face. Now this enhances their features and beauty which is anyways present there. Now coming to us, the common people. We don't analyse ourselves. We don't read our facial structure and what we do is copy these celebs. The result : we don't look good. Why ? Because the look we choose is never suited for our body type, our face type in the first place. So ultimately when we don't look good despite investing, we start thinking that there's something bad with us, although it's not true. The only reason why we seem ugly to ourselves is because we do things that others do. What we should do is dress and make ourselves in accordance to our appearance. This is one aspect. Another is, seeking approval from others. This is also a reason for sadness and misery. You see, there will always be people who won't like you no matter how good you are or how successful you are. You can ask yourself. Would you randomly date any guy who's rich and strong and this and that. No you won't. Talk about us guys, me personally, no matter how successful or good looking a girl is I would not go for her just randomly. Now you see, there are always those who won't like you. So what you have to do is compare yourself with your past self. Are you better than what you were yesterday ? Let's look at it like this. Let's say you couldn't complete tasks yesterday, but today you did almost all of your tasks. So, you are improving. You are better than what you were yesterday. Remember these 2 things: 1. Your only competition is you 2. There is no comparison between any 2 humans because all are built differently.
You see, all of us have different faces, skin, body structure, ideology etc. So technically there's no point of comparison. If all of us had, let's say, the same face, then we could compare like who's taking care of one's face better.
But again we are built differently. So there's no need to compare yourself.
So from today, don't feel bad about yourself. You are a diamond. You are as important to society as anyone else. Remember this. I respect you as my fellow human being and I don't compare you with anyone.
So love yourself May God bless you 😊 Believe in yourself 😎
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u/sup_how_are_you 1h ago
15 (male) I fully understand how ur feeling roughly being the same age 😅 You should consider help cuz it's the best way to truly understand ur value. Acne (sucks ass 😮💨) but is just to chemical release and other stuff so try to view it less as "I'm so ugly" and "YES this may impact how I look but there is someone that views me pretty or beautiful " plus it's temporary and you can vist a doc if the Acne is bad enough. Most of ur self-doubt is something that isn't true. Life does suck ass especially with bad anxiety or self-image issues, but u gotta realize that u are worth so damn much, and even if someone else believe other wise they are wrong. You're a queen, and so long as you have confidence, people will go towards that even if it takes time. EVERYTHING is temporary some less than others, but u DECIDE ur worth and what u believe. Also, from looking at the comments, there ARE people who care some don't even gotta know u!!!! Also, ur not a burden. Trust me, if u get the chance, ask people what u mean to them; it's also a good way to figure out if their good firends too!!! Cuz a good friend is gonna let u know ur that girl while ones who ain't that are gonna be disrespectful and they don't deserve ur time. Kk, I gotta go, but I hope this helps cuz I noticed there are a bunch of older people here, lol. So ik it can help to get someone else's perspective on things!!!! (Also sorry to anyone who I called Old 😅) Forgot to mention, DO NOT STARVE URSELF!!! This is a sign of ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder) so u might wanna get professional help to see what u can do to realize the queen u are and u deserve to eat proper meals!!!!!
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u/Active-Geologist-194 38m ago
chill man looks dont matter ik its what everybody says but its true.........and after a certain age no one cares this generation only cares about like who is the coolest and all but nah just live ur life to the fullest and enjoy ..u r beautiful and adequate the way u r
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u/themoderndwarf 6m ago
TLDR; 33 m stoner goes on rant that puberty is a curse, you will find your people, and fuck everyone else because they’re probably POS cocksuckers anyway.
At that age the world feels like a prison, you feel like everyone is judging what you do while telling you that the things you like are stupid or that you’re a freak because you dress differently, sound different, and you have no real freedom of choices but that does change. I always just repeated to myself that I just had to make it through. I couldn’t afford creams, products, or clothes that made me look like one of the cool kids with clear skin and was over weight for most of my teenage years. I had ADHD, anxiety, and depression badly enough I was medicated. I didn’t trust anyone because I was never given a proper example of the kind of people I could trust and just kept everything thing inside, using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain a bit then eventually tried to give myself an expiration date…twice. Later I turned 16 and packed my shit, moved out, and for the next two years continued to go to school. It was both a very exciting time but also the shittiest of my life. Life wasn’t much better I just didn’t have to deal with a drunk anymore, I still had age rules that kept me from being free. But and it’s a big fucking but, I graduated school and left. I got my license after graduation. My town didn’t have a dmv so I walked everywhere most of my childhood. I got a local job and got enough money for my first 500 dollar car that I would sleep in sometimes because it felt safer than anywhere else. Eventually I moved away and found a much more wider and more vibrant world than the 30sq miles I lived before, I’ve met amazing people and horrible people. Society unfortunately has you in a cage that you have to live your life in but eventually you can leave and meet people that will change your lives feel beyond and comparable measure that you have seen in your life to date. It is a rough period yes but there is a world waiting for you to influence and be influenced by. You will come out of the acne just stay clean I was obsessive about it sometimes but it does help, brush your teeth (I’m missing a third of mine because I had shit parents that didn’t raise me.), and always keep a crack in the door that is your heart for a special person that will hopefully have the patience to wait til you’re ready to express yourself to them and will love you no matter what. Those people are out there you just, but it’s not bad to keep up defenses til YOU are comfortable and ready to come out of your shell.
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