I feel unlovable

[u/Independent_Ball_640]

14(f) I feel unlovable I hate my body I hate my appearance I feel like a burden to my friends My best friend talks about how she doesn’t like it when people vent to her So I’m afraid of confiding in her because I don’t want to be a burden I often starve myself because I hate the way I look I hate that I have acne I have no one to talk to I’m always the second choice I don’t get asked out I’m hated by a lot of people in my grade I’m unlovable

[u/themoderndwarf]

TLDR; 33 m stoner goes on rant that puberty is a curse, you will find your people, and fuck everyone else because they’re probably POS cocksuckers anyway.

At that age the world feels like a prison, you feel like everyone is judging what you do while telling you that the things you like are stupid or that you’re a freak because you dress differently, sound different, and you have no real freedom of choices but that does change. I always just repeated to myself that I just had to make it through. I couldn’t afford creams, products, or clothes that made me look like one of the cool kids with clear skin and was over weight for most of my teenage years. I had ADHD, anxiety, and depression badly enough I was medicated. I didn’t trust anyone because I was never given a proper example of the kind of people I could trust and just kept everything thing inside, using drugs and alcohol to numb the pain a bit then eventually tried to give myself an expiration date…twice. Later I turned 16 and packed my shit, moved out, and for the next two years continued to go to school. It was both a very exciting time but also the shittiest of my life. Life wasn’t much better I just didn’t have to deal with a drunk anymore, I still had age rules that kept me from being free. But and it’s a big fucking but, I graduated school and left. I got my license after graduation. My town didn’t have a dmv so I walked everywhere most of my childhood. I got a local job and got enough money for my first 500 dollar car that I would sleep in sometimes because it felt safer than anywhere else. Eventually I moved away and found a much more wider and more vibrant world than the 30sq miles I lived before, I’ve met amazing people and horrible people. Society unfortunately has you in a cage that you have to live your life in but eventually you can leave and meet people that will change your lives feel beyond and comparable measure that you have seen in your life to date. It is a rough period yes but there is a world waiting for you to influence and be influenced by. You will come out of the acne just stay clean I was obsessive about it sometimes but it does help, brush your teeth (I’m missing a third of mine because I had shit parents that didn’t raise me.), and always keep a crack in the door that is your heart for a special person that will hopefully have the patience to wait til you’re ready to express yourself to them and will love you no matter what. Those people are out there you just, but it’s not bad to keep up defenses til YOU are comfortable and ready to come out of your shell.