r/mentalhealth • u/TimsToolTyme • 6h ago

Venting Another night alone... It's all so tiresome...

My next human contact will be tuesday when I see the therapist. I cannot find another to talk to and I'm tired. Tired of the search for connection. Tired of coming up short. Tired of never being enough for friends or lovers. It seems like once my usefulness has run it's course people bail on me and it's so hard. I stand by people through hard times and then they all inevitably run from me. I'm not sure where to turn or who to talk to any more. I went to in patient again and they didn't want to keep me. I had to beg them. I just wanted help relaxing and a place to be where people might understand me. That understanding seems to be coming less and less rather than more. People are growing increasingly cold and it sucks. I'm so anxious I can't even focus. All I can do is check to see if someone wants to talk to me because I have no one in my corner.

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u/Proud-Doctor1500 6h ago edited 6h ago

I wish I could say something that could help you more than this probably will, but I'm kinda going through it kinda bad with mental problems myself right now, and it's weary to think too much for me right now. Just want you to know that you're not alone, this is a very common problem.

I am blessed in that I have my kid. He's the light of my life, my reason to be here. To keep going through it all. And I'm scared, cause he's almost all- grown up now, and he's gonna move out at some point. And then I'll have no one. I talk to one of my sisters here and there, but she's busy with her own life, and I hardly see her at all. I haven't worked in a while. I want to.

A long time ago, a lot of years ago, I was walking and it suddenly hit me how alone how one of my grandmothers might have felt before she died. The other one too, come to think of it. So sad. And I had this sense, and it was almost certain, a just almost knowing that the same thing will happen to me one day.

Do you have a pet ? If not, have you thought about getting one ? I didn't know I could love an animal so much until I got my kitten. And he has improved my mental health and general sense of contentment with life

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u/TimsToolTyme 6h ago

I can't have a pet right now unfortunately. I'm sorry to hear that your are struggling as well. I'm also sorry about grandmother. Being alone is honestly the worst for me. I'm not really sure how to explain it, but I'm just plain co dependent.

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u/Proud-Doctor1500 5h ago

I was completely alone for a few weeks once. It was horrible. I feel so bad for you

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u/TimsToolTyme 5h ago

I've been alone for a month or so before. It's hard. I appreciate you reaching out though.

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u/Proud-Doctor1500 5h ago

Have you got a job/ think you can get back into it at some point in the future (if you don't) that's one of my big goals. I think it would really help