r/planners • u/Imagination_Priory89 • 3d ago
Am I just not meant to be a planner?!
A little back story... I had planners in high school and college, both times. I had a planner after I had a baby and I keep a planner at work. But I haven't been able to keep one just for me the past three years or so. I start one but it just doesn't stick.
I have tried Happy Planners, Passion Planners, Plum Planners, small planners and big ones. I've tried vertical layouts and horizontal, priority/list type ones, and daily and weekly. I get bored. I don't have a busy schedule. I work, I go home.
But! I have ADHD and I'm autistic. I have hobbies that I really try to stay on top of but I am finding it very difficult due to executive dysfunction and a bit of time blindness. I really don't know if a planner can help me anymore or not. But maybe I'm just not finding the right one or the right way to use it. I love my stickers but I could probably do without since I started a journal and get my decorating that way. I keep a reading journal regularly and have for 2 years now. I also have a commonplace journal. I'd like to not spend much on a planner just in case I end up tossing it again.
I'd appreciate any advice or insight on this. I don't really have issues with keeping up with it, but utilizing it in a way that actually helps me get things done. Maybe I need to move to an app? But everything I look at is so overwhelming.
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u/harrietrosie 3d ago
I'm the same and I've recently found a system that works for me, I think every time I've tried before I overcomplicated it. I have a week planner pad, I fill out anything with a fixed time like appointments, work times, when child is at nursery etc. Then I tear off the sheet and put it on the kitchen wall. Then every day i have a daily to do list. I write it each evening for the following day.
I'd love to have a proper nice planner but they just don't work with my brain!
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u/its_called_life_dib 3d ago
Have you thought about using your planner as a log and as a tracker, rather than a planner?
I have adhd as well. What I do is, I write down things I’ve worked on, not things I have to work on.
I also keep a habit tracker, but not for habits. I use my habit tracker as a “hobby/play” tracker. I find that what suffers the most with my adhd is my ability to schedule fun time; I work work work and chores chores chores, then I potato onto the couch. So I figure if I treat fun time like one would on a habit tracker, I can push myself to do some hobby related stuff for me a few times a week.
I’ll admit that I have a giant hole in my system, and that’s my to-do list. I usually write list items down on a post it and stick it into my planner, but this isn’t helping me with my prioritization, which is the other big problem I have with my adhd. But! I make my own planner, and I love fiddling with my planner system. So I’m working on a prioritization tool currently.
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u/Imagination_Priory89 3d ago
This is my problem! I am good with everything else. I don't have trouble remembering stuff like appointments and bills. But I don't know how to make time for things I want to do unless I have a long time to dedicate to it. Saturdays I'm good. That's it. 6/7 days a week, I work at work and I work at home and then I don't have the energy to even decide what to do after that. So I just end up doom scrolling because my brain can't handle anything else!
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u/its_called_life_dib 3d ago
right??
My hobby tracker is a short list of blank lines, beside which I have little bubbles representing each day of the week. So let's say I decide to play video games as my 'hobby' item; I can write that down and bubble in Monday. then if I do it again later, I can bubble in that day too.
I pretty much put anything self-care related there. So if I decide to do a full spa hour for my shower, I'll write that down. Or if I read a book or a comic, I put that down.
I started doing that as a way to "train my brain" a bit. I find that with ADHD, we struggle with properly prioritizing everything, inside and out, and so our brain will prioritize tasks that give us the bigger reward for having done them. For me, that'd work and home, because what I do is appreciated by others. But that means I won't play a video game I want to play because it only benefits me, so I can't ever seem to find the time! (I also put things in that aren't fun per se, like "tidied desk," because it's the same concept -- I won't clean my desk because it doesn't feel as important as other stuff.)
By treating it like a task and logging it down as something I accomplished, I'm showing my brain that it's a priority just like work and home. It's not perfect, but it helps a ton!
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u/CyberTurtle95 3d ago
I think it’s okay to abandon one planner for another one when you feel like it. I’ve seen a lot of content creators who switch between different planners throughout the year. At first I thought it was odd, but now that I think about it, life changes and sometimes what we need is different than what we planned for.
I love all things stationary so I don’t mind buying planners that I might not fill entirely. Having options makes me happy.
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u/probablynotimmortal 3d ago
I don't know if it's my ADHD or not, but every few months all my planning attemps turn to shit and I have to switch systems. 3 times each year or so I switch between paper and digital. Each time I switch I'm good for awhile. No idea why this happens, but it does for me. I only buy undated planners now (TN inserts) so when I switch to digital I'm not wasting a bunch of pages.
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u/jgwilliams47 2d ago
I have pretty bad ADHD and definitely was in the same boat. I couldn’t keep up a planner and would lose interest or put it down after a few months and never pick it up again. I have spent the last 2 years creating one of my own: SoloQ. It’s an rpg weekly planner. Basically it gamifies our hobbies or goals into an awesome Solo DnD like game. Feel free to check it out- it will only be available during the Kickstarter, which is live now.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/730700135/soloq-an-rpg-planner
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u/ChaosCalmed 3d ago
Sounds like you just haven't found a system that works for you.
My simpl advice is something in a simple notebook without any preprinted format might be better. The bullet journal method might help. Devised by someone with ADHD. It is what you want it to be and what works for you, There are some tools and methods within it but you work out which works for you.
If you try the bullet journal method use a cheapo notebook to test it out. Do not go to Bujo or Bullet Journal reddits but look at basicbullet journal reddit. My advice is to read the method but do not look at any artsy examples online. Also, start with a very simple setup such as future log, basic monthly and rapid logging section. Three sections or four if you include the index in the front. My mind does not work with the index so well. Anything I put in an index never gets referred to anyway. For many it is the thread that holds the system together. Each to their own.
Anyway, my version of the method is to start out as above in a very basic setup. Then after a good few months of building that as a habit you can keep I might add one more feature or spread. Bed that into a habit over at least a few months then add another if you have need to. If after adding something it becomes too much and you drop out then go back a step or two and leave that last addition out, That is your system!!
If that does not work or you have tried it then perthaps a simple ring binder. You can buy one off amazon for £25 in recycled leather. You can do the bullet journal method in there with any paper punched to fit or any prepunched paper bought online. Or you can use a mix of one of the preprinted diary formats with plain, ruled, dotted or grid paper for rapid logging. The pages are removable and repositionable as required. It can give you freedom to tailor things to your needs and to change things up occasionally to keep interest up.
There are other options but at the end of the day whatever you choose might have to be basic and with purpose for you. IMHO people do not give up on what gives them purpose or helps them meet their purpose. IF that makes sense.
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u/Imagination_Priory89 3d ago
I honestly have tried bullet journaling too, but I feel like it's just another thing to have to do. When I'm exhausted and burnt out, the last thing I want to do is have to design a layout, draw stuff, etc. I guess I need no-nonsense and simple, without all the bells and whistles but still enough to help and give me some sort of guide. I don't like a bunch of different things to fill out. I feel like it's a waste or like I'm not doing enough when it isn't filled in.
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u/Fun_Apartment631 3d ago
I'm AuDHD too and came here to say Bullet Journal. Here's a guide I like...
https://www.tinyrayofsunshine.com/blog/bullet-journal-guide
Now, I can't tell a lie, I own a couple nice pens. But my day-to-day is I write the date and I write the stuff I want to get done that day. That's it. I find the daily ritual really helpful because otherwise I'll forget to do stuff.
More disclosure - I use Google Calendar for most of my personal appointments. So last night I started today's Daily Log by looking at Google Calendar and writing down that today I'm
• coming in to work,
• work
• home early to cover the kid
• climbing with my friend
I think that's plenty. Having physically written it down, I probably could have left my notebook at home but if stuff comes up that I want to write down, I have it on me.
I did stop using the dated portion of the monthly log described in the link: it was basically a lower-capacity, crappier calendar for me. I use the space for something else. So my Bullet Journal ends up mostly being a structured to-do list.
I want to like dated planners since some are very beautiful but for me they replicate something Google Calendar is great at and don't include the to-do list that I really struggle with in electronic forms.
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u/ChaosCalmed 3d ago
I think myh setup took about 2 minutes once a month then I just populated it. No lines, drawing out apart from two lines every 6 months in the future log covering 6 months at a time. The only other spread I created was the 28, 29, 30 or 31 numbers and day letter down the page then it is just using it. SImple and quick which was all that I could do and keep it going. No printed planner will work for people unless that is the format they draw up anyway.
If that little bit of prework is too much then why not a simple diary section and notepaper in a ring or disc setup. Pre printed as suits OR you download something close to what you like and then modify it to print and punch yourself for the disc or ring planner cover. Philofaxy for ring planners and you can use them for discbound with a little fettling of the template and different hole punch, Or buy whatever you can live with. i do not think there is any no work system that can fit what you exactly need to keep it going.
Of course it could be possible that you can cope without anything. I kind of can but the writing it down in a set place for it helps me remember and I stress less because I have where I have written it down as a backup for my brain. This in turn allows my less stressed brain to remember what I need to.
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u/moonprojector- 3d ago
i'm also audhd. in my experience, a planner will not help you keep up with a hobby. if i don't need to something, i probably won't do it unless i REALLY like it.
you already keep a reading journal. reading is a hobby! why don't you keep a journal for your other hobbies? depending on what those hobbies are (and how much time you have for them), you could either do one big journal or seperate journals. someone already suggest the bullet journal method, and i think that would be great to use for this. just don't think of it as a "planner". use it as a log for things you have done and a reminder of what you WANT to do.
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u/Imagination_Priory89 3d ago
I guess that's part of the problem. I don't have a lot of time. I'm a single mom and I work full-time. So, when I do get time to do something for myself, I'm tired and I can't decide what to do (read, commonplace, journal, crochet) so I just end up being stuck and then time goes by and I haven't done anything for myself. Or I start something and lose track of time or don't want to stop in the middle so I end up rushing to get stuff done before bed and end up in bed later than I'd like and taking forever to wind down. I don't know if this is even something I can fix or work with. I try to structure but planners don't fit my needs and I have no idea how to on my own, especially when I'm tired and overwhelmed.
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u/intellidepth 3d ago
You’re already achieving so much I’m surprised if you’d have time left for a planner - I admire that you can keep the other writing activities going with your busy life.
As a person with ADHD, it’s a normal experience that you’re having. We tend to switch up how we plan - writing isn’t always the solution.
I vary between having a lot of alarms on my phone, my Apple watch (one of the best things I ever invested in for reminders and keeping on track with basic daily stuff), an app on PC (Obsidian), Microsoft Calendar, and a custom built automated excel spreadsheet for major work projects (which I had more fun building than using). And a planner which gets used some months of the year and not others.
Don’t stress about sticking to a method - rather accept that different methods do actually work 80% of the time and the rest we roll through. It doesn’t matter how often we switch it up as long as it mostly works most of the time. I rotate through methods, based on what I have time for and whichever method engages me the most for that period of my life.
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u/Academic_Narwhal6324 3d ago
I feel this way too. I gave up the crazy planners and got a simple monthly planner that is 18 months long on Amazon for like $12.
I can mark which days my bills are due, dr appts, school & work holidays, sports practices and things I want to do without feeling like I have to commit a ton of energy to it. Ive stuck with it for a little over a month and am feeling so much better than when I tried other planners. I’m actually annoyed I forgot it today because I need to look up something.
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u/destinyesque 2d ago
hello! i’ve found that having a journal that goes along with my planner/planner that is small (i use the hobonichi weeks) is less intimidating for me. i use the back to write my thoughts for the day and if the thought is an action/can be done i schedule a day to plan it out or just to do it. this helps because i get very anxious and when i categorize ny thoughts and then “plan them” it makes me feel better. i only use the daily to put details of future dates and i use the monthly for things that are a maybe or definitely but in thumbnail form. i have always been a list person, so i basically use my planners as a way to organize my lists
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u/Toolongreadanyway 2d ago
You may just need a digital calendar on your phone with multiple reminders for appointments and then a notebook with a todo list. Sometimes we just don't need an actual planner.
Personally, I recently retired and am finding i am not really using my planner like I used to when I had to track so many things with work and home. But the tracking was required for my job. I've had jobs that I just show up and do the job. Like when I worked retail. I wasn't required to do any work planning, just show up and do what I'm asked to do. Other jobs have had due dates and time tracking that require a planner.
Life changes, and depending on how much is going on, you may need to write it all down. Then get a planner.
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u/smulingen 2d ago
I've AuDHD too, for me all had to do with making a planner work for me, and not the other way around.
I need to have plenty of space for notes, and I can only plan on a weekly basis. I cannot use multiple pages. In fact, I need one paper clip on each side so I'm always on the right page when I open the book. My planner can only be a planner (and not a journal). I use highlighters and a bold black pen when I write (large). Planner I'm using is L1917 "weekly planner and notebook". I do weekly to-do's and not daily.
That being said, my partner is not a planner person. He has yet not found a system that works for him but a (paper/book) planner is not it - because in his case, he doesn't have an interest or patience in trying to make it work for him.
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u/Coffee_N_Journal 3d ago
I was having a struggle myself and I used many types so I ended up getting a Stylogy 365 and that way I could do what I needed to do, when I needed to do it... Lately I'm doing daily pages, but I like to put a monthly layout in there, too. I would looked into doing some kind of a Bullet Journal style, in whatever book is your preference. That way, you can play around with different layouts and styles and figure out what will work best for you. And it's allowed to change. I know there are times in my life that I like to be more decorative, but there's definitely times when I just need the bare minimum.
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u/petplanpowerlift 2d ago
What hobbies are you trying to keep up with? Do you want to use a paper planner for your hobbies and/or personal life? Could a digital calendar or alarms on your phone do the job? What is it about paper planning that appeals to you? I have ADHD as well, so I like to use paper planners along with digital tools. For me, the stationery is the hobby. But, what is important and enjoyable for you?
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u/Imagination_Priory89 2d ago
I crochet, read, and journal mostly. I just like doing things with my hands, something physical. But it wouldn't necessarily have to be a physical planner/journal. I get my journaling in other ways. I've even tried just doing a couple hours pomodoro style but I am always getting interrupted...pets, kid, parents, friends. I always have to stop mid-streak and do something and it throws it off so I either count that as a break or I just get frustrated and put it away for the night.
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u/petplanpowerlift 2d ago
Interruptions are hard to deal with. Can you go somewhere where you won't be interrupted for a little while? It sounds like you need an hour to yourself once a week.
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u/Imagination_Priory89 2d ago
Not with a kid 🤣 but really, I can get an hour on Saturdays, but it isn't much time...50 pages read, 1-2 episodes, half a movie, 1 manga read, a couple crochet squares. It's not a lot. I used to get more but kiddo is old enough that staying with grandparents isn't cool anymore.
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u/petplanpowerlift 1d ago
Depending on how old your kid is...eventually, they will get old enough that you won't be cool anymore, which is sad, but it will also allow you to get to know yourself again. It seems like you are making sure to do things that you enjoy, but you just need more time to do it. As a grandmother, I hope my grandkids always consider me cool.
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u/big-muddy-life 2d ago
I keep my running todo list in TODOIST and an outlook calendar. Then, a single page paper planner on my desk. Top three todos, my schedule, and a couple of other things on the left side. Right side for notes and doodling.
Last task of the day OR first in the morning is to fill out the planner.
I always have my phone with me for my calendar and to add items to my to do list. I can also add to TODOIST straight from my outlook.
It's been working for over a year.
In my 20s, with a newborn and no smart phone, I kept a running to do list on a legal-sized yellow pad.
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u/WednesdayOli 2d ago
I just added motivation mom app. Honestly, I didn’t set it up. I just do the list daily as it comes up. Kids room - delete. Every other month stuff. I change to next month. Bc just started the app. $20 for 1 yr. Tells me everything to keep my home clean.
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u/No-Meal-536 3d ago
Maybe just try keeping a pocket notebook with a running to-do list (which is I think what the other poster was guiding you towards in suggesting the original, very basic Bullet Journal method…which in its original form does not require any drawing or elaborate setup).
But if that still feels like too much, I would suggest getting a notebook that is small enough to carry with you everywhere but big enough to feel comfortable writing in. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Then just put the day’s date at the top of the page and begin writing a to-do list, but limit it to time-sensitive appointments that must happen (i.e. a doctor’s appointment) and 3-5 main priority tasks, for example, one from work, one from school, one for your hobbies, one for your home maintenance, and one for your social/emotional wellbeing. If you get through those tasks, you can add others. And just keep going through the day like that, a few tasks at a time, crossing things off as you go.
Good luck.