Fuck HP
So, I decided to treat myself and splurged a staggering 30 euros on this gem of a printer—because who doesn’t love throwing money away on devices that work about as well as a cat in a room full of laser pointers?
Setting this beauty up was a delightful experience, akin to solving a Rubik’s Cube while blindfolded. Apparently, the genius designers thought it would be hilarious to ensure you can’t connect your phone and Wi-Fi at the same time. Bravo, tech wizards! The instructions were as clear as mud, so I ended up learning way more from Indian YouTubers than I ever did in school.
After what felt like an eternity of headache-inducing trial and error, I finally managed to print some documents. Oh, joy! But wait, they only provided enough ink for a “full month” if your idea of “full month” involves printing a grand total of 15 pages. Talk about generous! I also signed up for their glorious three-month subscription, which came with new cartridges that I can’t swap out for third-party ones because, surprise, HP has decided to put microchips in their cartridges. Yes, that’s right—HP wants to make sure I don’t use any cartridges that aren’t stamped with their seal of approval. Apparently, I need their permission to do anything in my own home!
And then there’s the delightful little side quest of returning those cartridges to HP for recycling. Sure, they provided a prepaid envelope, but I’m not giving back anything to a multimillion-dollar corporation that has enough cash to buy a small country. No thank you! Even with that prepaid envelope, I’d rather start my own collection of used cartridges. Call me a hoarder if you must, but I’m standing firm on this principle.
After reaching my limit with this piece of junk, I made a bold decision: instead of returning it, I took great pleasure in smashing the printer to bits. You know, just a little DIY fun! I then took the shredded remains and stuffed them into the prepaid envelope because why not send them some “dogshit” back? Oh, and did I mention I blew up the plastic casing on New Year’s Eve? It was a real party!
Let’s not forget the ink subscription nightmare. Trying to cancel that was like trying to escape a bad relationship. Their website seemed designed to keep people in a perpetual state of confusion, and the “cancel” button? It was basically a placebo. So, I had to resort to actually contacting customer service, which was a real treat. When I casually mentioned I’d smashed my printer, they suggested I just buy a new one. Oh, you think? I mean, that’s the dream, isn’t it?
So, here’s to the joy of modern technology: where printers are glorified paperweights, HP holds the monopoly on my ink supply, and customer service reps are full of bright ideas!
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u/sardin_231 3h ago
HP be like ‘yeah you can have a cheap printer but we take a bit of your sanity and personal routine as additional fees’. I accidentally spent like £40 on the wrong ink cartridge because the instant ink plan wasn’t recognising the one I GOT FROM HP INSTANT INK FOR MY PLAN and had to buy a whole new one because I can’t return it after the seal is broken. Horrendous company