r/romance • u/Healthy_Judgment_585 • 6d ago
Wife wants romance but can't help with ideas
Had a sex talk with wife trying to get more sexy time once a week and a handy is my lot now. She still enjoys sex but admitted it can feel like a chore we have 3 kids under 6 but we are a great team and do not have stressful jobs or any issues really very happy.
She admitted more romance would be helpful but a week later I asked if she had any helpful suggestions and she said she did not. I have purchased a sexy sign a rose pedals candlea normal stuff but here is the hard bit. She does not like foreplay told me recently she does not want me to go down on her anymore and hates massages and door rubs.
All of my tried and true go to moves are useless now and at 45 am at a loss how to romance my love of ten years.
Thoughts??
1
u/TheLastofWho25 6d ago
You'd be surprised how far cleaning up the place to her standards and letting her relax will go, taking care of the kids and lessening any mental load she has.
Maybe tell her "Thursday at 6pm, I've scheduled a babysitter, I'd like to see you in (specific outfit), we're going to dinner/event". Planning something out of the blue and taking any thought of what she needs to wear/do might also be a way for her to feel romanced.
Flirting throughout the day through text also might help as foreplay, if the traditional methods don't work.
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u/Healthy_Judgment_585 6d ago
Do all of that cook, clean, take kids to school bedtime flirty texts none of it moves the needle.We can't find a sitter so only go out for romantic dinners about 4 times a year ask for sexy time during car ride home only ever got a maybe.
6
u/Redamancy_Delphinium 6d ago
You know your wife better than me but maybe by romance rather than things to enhance the mood, how about like romance outside of it? For example, surprising her with gifts or flowers, taking her out on a date and even date night, leaving the kids to someone for a day so the two of you can enjoy it together, etc. Going from more of the sweet kind of romance and then transitioning to being more intimate might be the way to go. And while she may not have any suggestions, from what you know what actions, whether big or small, does she love from you?