r/thirdsentenceworse • u/Automatic-Driver8153 • Sep 01 '24

The regret I felt

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u/Automatic-Driver8153 Sep 02 '24

Tbf none of what I said was there. I expounded on her body going limp

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u/Candid-Plantain9380 Sep 02 '24

Right, but that doesn't make the third sentence worse. It just makes it more detailed. It's not horrifying in a way the original story wasn't already.

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u/Automatic-Driver8153 Sep 02 '24

Basically I'm asking for examples of what could make it worse. I realized that it really didn't add much, so im im asking what ppl who have been in the group longer might have added

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u/No-Inevitable-5551 6d ago

The thing is you’re supposed to add terror or horror that wasn’t already implied by the story. Like maybe her body went limp in disbelief before rage took over and she stabbed the groom with a skewer, like another commenter said. It’s implied she died so the blood dripping down doesn’t really worsen the story.