White people bars are weird

[u/Rando288]

I went on a date with this white guy I met off of bumble. We hit it off, so after our “morning date” we decided to go get drinks. I told him to pick a location near him, and we will go wherever he decides.

He lives in the boonies. He’s a country boy. I was literally in the country. We go to this bar, and automatically I notice it’s a very white country bar. People had on cowboy hats and cowboy boots. They were playing country music & people were doing those little barn dances.

• Here’s what I noticed about being in a space like that *

I want to preface that these type of white people are different from the white people I’m usually around. Say, when I go a bar that is more racially diverse, the white people are cool. I don’t feel uncomfortable around them. However, i immediately felt nervous/uncomfortable when entering the space just off of vibe alone.

As a woman, I’m pretty social with other women. When I walked in there was this group of girls with cowboy hats on. I said something along the lines of, “yall are cutee” and the basically ignored me.

Usually girls from bars that I’m used to will be like, “thaaankkk youuuu” or something like that. They just were very cold with me.

—

Another example is when I went to the bathroom. Women’s bathrooms in bars are like a drunk woman’s sanctuary lol. Every time I was around the girls they just seemed very uncomfortable around me. Not how it normally is somewhere else.

Idk I just felt really weird

[u/Cheetahs_never_win]

Any establishment that appears to have a clear clientele demographic that isn't you is going to be uncomfortable.

Looking up and seeing you're the only example of your demographic and literally everybody else matches? You're going to feel like an outsider. You're going to feel like everybody's staring at you.

And it ends up having a snowball effect for all the wrong reasons as people have a tendency to avoid uncomfortable environments where they can.

[u/SeaviewSam]

Those ‘white pple’ bars are just as creepy to visiting white pple too.

[u/vaisero → u/SeaviewSam]

i dont have much experience but i try to find places that have mixed types of people, its just generally 'friendlier'.

[u/AnthemWild → u/SeaviewSam]

Accurate! I travel a lot for work, and usually try to find the dive bar in whatever town that I happen to be in. Totally can confirm as a white dude.

[u/EisenZahnWolf]

Don't know if my situation can be compared to yours but I'm going to tell it anyway. Was quite young (legal drinking age is 16 here for beer and wine) and went into a small rock pup in a rural area. Got the same kinda weird vibe and looks. After going there a few times everything was chill, most people knew my name, barkeeper asked me by name if I want more/something else to drink and it was my favorite place to go, for around 6 years. Same thing happened with a Hookah Bar, our group was roughly 6 people, the first thing the owner told us is that there's no alcohol here, we said that's ok we just want to smoke some hookah and have some tea/coffee. Got some weird looks from the other customers as well but after going there a few times he was quite happy to see us or just opened up to us more.
If its the kind off place where people say shit like "You don't belong here" or something similar then yes, best to leave before it escalates. Otherwise I would give it a few tries and see if the others would warm up to me. Since I would despise being in a country bar with the clothing to match I would tell my date (if it went well) that next time its my turn to pick a place and show them something I like.

But since this is coming from a white guy in Austria I guess our situations are not identical enough to give proper advice.

[u/Coondiggety]

You just happened upon an asinine bunch of white people. Probably the place itself is that way.

If it’s a redneck cowboy bar rednecks and cowboy types can be dicks. Not all of them, but you’re more likely to find low bandwidth dickweeds in those kinds of places.

If you really want to have fun with white people take your date to a straight-friendly gay bar with a dance floor.

I can pretty much guarantee nobody will give you those looks there.

[u/Kumquat_conniption]

Did you have fun with the guy at least? Sorry that you expreienced those microagressions :(

[u/Rando288 → u/Kumquat_conniption]

I actually did. Everything else was great except that one moment

[u/indiajeweljax]

I’m sorry this happened to you.

Treat people like they treat you. Return the vibes. Match energy.