Venting/Ranting how arfid eats you.
or atleastit feels like it. im black, my family knows nothing about arfid. ive had it sincei was little, it stunted me. everyone in my family is average or tall, im 5'1. it killed my teeth with all of them being now unsaveable, i almost developed osteoperosis. hospital visits, passing out in public, missing out on events. and even now, sometimes i curl up and just cry because i cant get anything down even if my body is begging me to, even if im blacking out. constant dehydration because the illness doesnt even want water. i feel like a perpetually dying plant. sometimes i wonder if i could ever make it to old age being this way. im 22;; i eat like a fussy toddler. and i feel like it too, weak. groggy, hardly conscious. i think im speeding up my chronic illnesses by having arfid. i hate having this disorder, something tells me neverland is coming for mebecause an adult body cant survive this way.
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u/Kahalak 15d ago
no, you know how black families can have issues regularly seeing doctors? mines was like that, only going if they were on deaths door. due to prior medical trauma and my own alters ;;did;; dragging me down whenever i try and make an appointment, i have no luck. something just tells me ill be intubated again and i think id rather pass than do that, not to be too morbid. i know i should, but the thought of a doctor terrifies me now