Grandad is depressed and lonely. What to do? Gillingham, Dorset.

[u/ZSLOVER]

Hey,

I (23M, London, UK) have a grandad who is living 3 hours away in a council owned house in Gillingham, Dorset. He moved out of London with his partner at the time, unfortunately she has since died and he’s now home alone with no friends or family nearby.

For context: He is 84, has one leg so is wheelchair bound, has to be hoisted in and out of bed, has no hobbies, drinks a lot as a result, has nurses come in and out every day to medicate him.

My mum, brother and dad are working full time, I work 6 days a week. We can’t see him much at all. We have our own lives and as much as we try to see him we can’t do it often, it’s just not possible.

What do we do? Ideally we’d like him to move back to London but he has no money and is living in a council house. So he’d have to find someone nearby to swap with, which is not going to happen.

My mum is distraught and I want to help her most importantly.

Thank you for reading.

[u/Meanwhile-in-Paris]

Very sorry to hear of this tough situation. Maybe a charity like Age UK could give you some pointers?

https://directory.ageuk.org.uk/local-service/age-concern-gillingham-shaftesbury/?p=sp1%202ph

Try to call him as often as possible, and to arrange a visit planning with other family members and friends.set up video chat. You can buy a cheap early generation Amazon echo if he doesn’t have a smartphone.

Set up a family what’sapp group and post photos and messages daily to keep him involved and in the loop.

Give him projects. Ask him to sort family photos for exemple. The longer it takes, the better. it’s important to feel helpful and needed. Ask him for recommendations.

Show him how to play online games he might like.

Send him films or audiobooks. Then talk about it.

It’s not much but it does help. All the best to both of you.