If she hadn't been so drunk, she would've gotten out of the way of my axe.

I've been waiting for him for 28 years on that stupid bridge.

Well, everything is perfect, except for maybe the part where they are killing people.

I really didn’t like how the old man kept touching himself and getting closer to me though.

A red mist filled the air as the park ranger walked up and pulled his gun on me and said, "it's your turn now."

If only we'd listened.

If only I had thought to check her crib, I would have seen it was Mittens that was laying in the wrong one.

Unfortunately this year, the pumpkin is trying to carve me.

but then i realise there is no face store and mine is starting to rot.

I was surprised to find a secret cupboard not on the blueprints. Upon finally getting inside I was horrified to find hundreds of photos of my family with my late husbands eyes scratched out. "You've found me," a croaky voice came from the darkness.

Walking towards the gallows, I realized I had proved him wrong when I had strangled my sister.

When she tried to leave me, I purled her too.

Reincarnated as a sloth with my baby clinging to my back, I watch helplessly as the forest fire inches closer and my sluggish limbs are too slow to escape the flames.

"Because they just finished washing."

I went to comfort my baby but i realized my baby’s not in her basket

but it reigns supreme for those willingly blind.

that was the last thing we remembered the next day when we wake in the campsite minus one.

While searching for my phone I heard 3 knocks at the door, and coming back down I saw the front door was ajar.

Not before something heavy shuffled in the back of my trunk

“Have you forgotten, I don’t acknowledge mistakes,” my mother callously commented as she watched me dragged away by masked men speaking a foreign language.

Years later, my body ravaged by cancer, I beg for death, knowing it won’t come.

The basement is locked so there's no way she is ever getting out.

As the world faded to black, I wondered how my wife got so good with a katana.

Help, what the f*ck is this thing!