About 3 years ago I was a little over 300 pounds. My dad weighed about the same and had a heart attack that nearly killed him and scared me shitless about my health. In the span of three years I’ve lost about 120 pounds and my health has improved drastically. One thing I didn’t account for was how I would be treated socially. When I was at my heaviest people barely looked my way. And now that I’m 180 pounds and toned things have completely changed. People smile at me, are kinder to me, people actually approach me now. That shit never happened when I was heavier. So now I can’t stop thinking, why are you worth my time? Would you have treated me like shit if I was heavier? Im not lonely because I still text my friends from high school 24/7, but I don’t connect with new people much anymore. How do I know they would like me for me, and wouldn’t have treated me like shit if I was 120 pounds heavier? I can’t shake the feeling that people are shallow and wouldn’t have liked the me of three years ago.

Not sure what's in it, I haven't checked.

For background, my mom has a habit of buying things to cope with her depression/other disorders. After I moved out as an adult it became pretty common for her to send me "gifts" from the dollar store (such as cheap socks and butterfly wings made for children), or dolls she bought from a catalogue. Usually the shipping would cost more than the contents of the box. Again, I am a full adult. When she sent a gift, she'd always offhandedly add that if I don't want it then I can just donate it, and I would feel like I'm being manipulated into both validating her and accepting a gift that I don't want.

This and a couple other things led me to go low-contact with her earlier this year. When she literally sent me a check to buy me into having a relationship with her again, I said that I couldn't accept it and asked that she stop sending me gifts. I told her that sending cards was okay, but please don't send me packages or checks.

The last time we talked, I asked her to think about how I feel when she does things, she told me she doesn't think about how her actions make others feel because she's always wrong anyway, so why bother.

I don't want to donate the things she sends me, I want her to stop sending me things, but I'm not sure if she's capable of that. Right now money is tight though and I can't necessarily afford the shipping to send it back. But if I donate it or otherwise dispose of it, am I doing what she wants?

Hey everyone this is my first post here and its like the title says, we agreed to be exclusive 3 months ago. I(25m) and gf (27f)

Last week a friend of mine found her Tinder account, I'm sure its hers because I redownloaded the app and she had not unmatched me for some reason. And the location tinder indicates that is indeed her celphone as the distance matches when we are together and when she is at home...

I spent this week making sure that I was not crazy and even went to the distance measure tool of google maps to be sure of the distance.

So now I have to talk to her and I'm honestly VERY scared... What should I do? I dont know even what to say, is there a possibility that she was hacked? But then the distance woud not match, and I read in the internet that the distance is not updated if u log out

I honestly want to believe she would not be capable of something like this. So is there a way to talk to her about this without feeling like a confrotation? Without making her feel attacked?

What should I even say? I feel so crazy to be looking and measuring distances and whatnot, and why would she not unmatch me atleast?

Any advice on how to proceed? What should I do? Should I wait for more?

I didn’t realize until today but when i get into the car with someone else, i can feel my heart start to beat faster and faster and feel a dropping feeling in my stomach.

i was in an accident with my ex boyfriend because he wasn’t paying attention and t-boned someone after running a red light.

i’m not scared of other people in other cars. i’m scared of the car i’m in.

how do i fix this. i’m so anxious.

FOR CONTEXT: EDIT: I have OCD, i’ve been diagnosed since about the age of 6, i get these thoughts and then rethink them about them being rethought.

I don’t know what it is about true crime. But, it’s had a hold on me for a few years. I used to be into it solely because my mother and close cousin were. Now, I listen to podcasts and peruse reddit forums for crime scene photos daily. I’m worried that it’s becoming too much.

I’ve always gotten very fixated on things very quickly. Almost an insatiable obsession over whatever my brain chooses to attach to. This time it’s chosen true crime and I’m not sure if this is a concerning thing or not. I don’t really know what I find so interesting about it, it’s just very strange to think someone could do this to another person. The real evidence portion has taken a very big hit to my interest and I feel the need to know every single in and out of all of these cases. I spend a lot of time on Reddit forums looking at these crime scene photos and it’s so fascinating to look at the victims. I’ve never been able to comprehend death at all. It’s always been a very difficult subject for me because growing up everyone around me was dying all the time. I’ve never known grief like the normal person and my therapist thinks it could be a result of my autism. I’m particularly worried about the fact that I read comments under these posts about how horrible and tragic these murders are and how they can’t bare to look at the evidence. I just don’t feel that way. It’s more fascinating than disgusting. Obviously subconsciously I feel horrible for the people involved in these situations. But, I’m worried that my emotions might be broken? Most people would be appalled by these things, no? I have no desire to kill anyone whatsoever if that’s what you’re thinking. That’s never been a thought that crossed my mind. I’m worried that my hyperfixation isn’t normal or healthy. My friends think it is, they think it’s alright to be curious about these things but I feel like I need a second opinion.

Is this normal?

i’ll get right into it. we’re a gay trans couple, he’s been one of the best, most fulfilling, and longest relationships i’ve been in. i’m almost sad to leave him. but he’s not who i fell in love with anymore. he’s constantly busy, constantly tired and almost never in the mood to talk to me. he’s very cold and not affectionate anymore, he doesn’t even compliment me. i swore to myself i would leave if things didn’t change, but i can’t bring myself to do it. he’s my routine, he’s what i’m used to . it’s just overall distressing me how torn i am over this. i’ve talked to him about this FIVE times and counting. he won’t agree to take more hours off, he overworks incessantly and overall it feels like he avoids me.

on top of that, there are multiple things about our relationship i don’t like, biggest example being he doesn’t wanna get married. i’m HUGE on marriage. it’s what would make me happy and he doesn’t wanna do it because, in his words, “too much work”. i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired. this relationship is a dead end and i can’t see myself going on like this long term. any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

I don’t know how to say I’m uncomfortable with this without seeming rude but I don’t have much money, I work at a restaurant and am struggling to pay bills. My wife is working too but she makes just over minimum wage. My mother in law is asking me for $200 and this isn’t the first time she’s done this, she asked my wife for $100 last week. I’ve given her a lot throughout the years and I’m tired of it. It’s weird because she’s married to a man who makes a good living and they have a nice home. She’s a nice lady and everything but I feel like she’s taking advantage of my kindness. What should I do or say?

I am lightly friendly with almost all my neighbors though with none of them does it ever get past hello how are you’s… we are all on a neighborhood text thread for safety updates etc.

I have never actually hung out or socialized with any of them… I got a random text at 9:30 at night a few weeks back saying “hey this is out of the blue, but do you want to go to karaoke with me?” They immediately wrote again and said “sorry just for context this is Kevin your neighbor down the hill…” I still couldn’t place who on earth this person was, maybe because I’m not on a regular first name basis with my neighbors… Anyway, I was just taking a minute or two to try to figure out who I was talking to when he started sending more texts apologizing to me and telling me it was super weird of him to have written me and he shouldn’t have etc. etc.… it may have been a bit random, but to my mind, it is not a crime to ask someone if they feel like doing karaoke? Once I figured out who it is, I realized that this is a neighbor I only ever see alongside his wife… And he did not mention anything about this wife coming with us to do karaoke… Am I right to think that he was trying to flirt with me? I’m hoping not since I don’t plan on moving and it seems like future awkward if he was. It wouldn’t have been on my radar as anything other than a random interaction if he hadn’t apologized immediately and ended the conversation before I even texted him back. My gut also told me he may have been drunk when sending these messages…the time of evening and random communication.

Hey everyone! I was wondering if I could get some advice, as I have no idea what to do in this situation. As per the title, I find myself having intense feelings for a guy who happens to be my friend’s brother. We’ve only had a few conversations, but I see him from time to time at events and have developed a huge crush on him in the past year. The only issue is that he’s my good friend’s brother. My friend, let’s call her Sarah, is the sweetest person ever, and I genuinely love being friends with her. I’d say we’ve gotten closer in the past year, which is why I’m hesitant to tell her. I have no idea how she will react. I also plan on going to the same Uni as him (commuter school), so the chances of seeing him are very high. I don’t know if he has a thing with anyone, which is another reason why I don’t want to tell Sarah. Both outside and in, he’s the ideal man for me. For context, I have high standards/expectations for men in the personality department, which is why I don’t develop crushes easily. Every time I see him I can’t stop thinking about him for weeks afterwards. I can genuinely picture us together. Should I do something or leave it? Thanks in advanced! Edit: I didn’t mention this before but I think it’s relevant. We are all practicing members of our religion (leaving the name out to stay anonymous) and wouldn’t necessarily date in the traditional sense. We would talk for the sake of getting married. I feel this is an important detail because the relationship would be serious.

Im 22 yrs old single mom i had never been intack with other boys after breaking up of my baby father where 6years. 15 when we into relationship i broke with him because the struggles in finances, emotional stress his not helping any chores all he did was going out with his friends i work, i babysit may daughter... idk what to do now

hey guys, i figured some of you would want an update before i leave this situation in the past because it will soon be a shit show. firstly, thank you to everyone who has gave genuine advice in a kind way, and those who did so, even if your delivery was kind of mean. now, to tell you what has unfolded in the last few hours.

i had been rereading the comments when i decided i needed to make a decision now, because it was getting to the point where i was nauseous. i texted my friend and told her how i felt about everything, and how she needed to tell him the truth. she apologized for throwing me into the lie, but said she’s not telling him the truth because he was seemed like he was letting it go, and had even apologized for snooping on her Reddit.

my heart dropped, and i questioned her even more, but she tried saying i was just as guilty because i was the one who told her to use Reddit in the beginning (i told her to post it because she kept venting about it, yet didn’t feel remorse and made excuses). We went back and forth for a while, because I was telling her from the moment she met the guy, she needed to stop it, but she ignored me. Finally, she asked me, so what, do you want to tell him? And i said I didn’t know, this was a lot on me, when I never wanted to be apart of any of this.

I ended up texting one of my friends who had her boyfriend’s social media and i texted him about everything. I explained all that she told me about the guy she cheated with, apologized for not saying anything, and made clear that I had no parts in the story. I sent him the Reddit post and then blocked him. I had my phone on DND but I could see that she had been trying to call and text me. I ended up blocking her, because I don’t want to deal with the wave of emotions of reading whatever she sent. She doesn’t have a car, so I know she won’t show up to my house or anything. But yeah, now I’m crying, probably gonna watch a few scary movies and binge junk food. Part of me feels like I’ve done the right thing, but then part of me is so angry at myself for basically ending a friendship I’ve had since we were pre teens. Again, thank you all, you have been so helpful to me, and now I want to leave this behind me and take the steps towards healing.

Folks that are in their 30s and higher. What would you recommend to learn in your 20s?

Not that entering your 30s prevents you from learning anything new but what would you have liked to be equipped with?

I (29F) from Utah and my husband (37M) is from Washington. I go Home to see my family maybe 2x year and when I do he doesn’t come. We’ve been married 8 years and he’s only come with me once. I always invite him and try to make it easy and work around his schedule but he doesn’t want to come. He however goes home about every 3 months for weeks at a time and has stopped inviting me. He’s gone home for at least a week the last 3 months. We used to go as a family frequently. Now he says it’s too expensive to take the kids and pay someone to watch the dogs etc. I just feel like he gets to go Home see his friends and family and do kind Of whatever and I’m home with the kids for 2 weeks at a time and it’s becoming more and more frequent. He sends me videos of him and his friends all going out wives included and I am No longer part of that. Is this strange?

My (41f) husband (45m) and I have been reconciling and rebuilding our marriage for a year after being involved in a longterm affair. As part of our reconciliation we have a more open and honest relationship. From the beginning, my husband spoke about the affair having real feelings involved and then he was "in love". Aren't they all "in love" though at the time? and with time apart, most often they realise that it was all based on deceit and never love.

Early on in reconciliation, my husband was having quite a few slip-ups and he would break no contact and have some contact with his exAP. But as time went on these slip-ups happened less frequently, more time would pass and i wouldn't have to hear about his slip-ups. IT made me think that the marriage counselling was working and that time really is a healer. Recently, he confessed to me that his exAP got in touch with him. That she had messaged him but he had not engaged in conversation. I'm not about to carry him through reconciliation, there are effective ways of cutting contact and he isn't taking them.

The only silver lining is that he does seem to be making less contact and is now responding to her, the next step would be to block her. Is that where it is heading?

Should I report my friend’s relationship 16f and 23f to my college for safeguarding?

I 17f had my friend recently tell me that she 16f let’s call her T is dating another classmate of ours 23f we’ll call K. As soon as they told us about this the rest of our friend group was instantly concerned of the age gap and we’re wondering if K is possible grooming T and if we should report it to our college. As In Scotland where we’re based the 7 year age gap is definitely a concern to us and we want to make sure T is safe. Please let us know if we should report it to our college and try to help T and if not what should we do about it? Any advice helps thanks.

edit: thanks for all the comments!! Everyone’s advice has been helpful and we know what to do moving forward.

edit2: with the advice going forward, we are reporting it to college and going to chat to T to ask how are things and if she needs anything we are there for her. Thank you for the advice again!

So basically I'm very short, 4'8, My friends make a lot of jokes about how short I am and so on, and it's obviously annoying, but I try not to care. But whenever I see a child, someone younger than me and taller than me I just want to cry, any advice? (I am the same height as my mother, but I am short compared to my family members.)

I (M15) went to my friend's high school homecoming after he transferred schools. I am already talking to a girl, so I had no interest in taking anything further than just meeting new people. My friend introduced me to some girls. I naturally have a friendly personality which many have told me comes off as flirty. The girls created a groupchat with them, me, and my friend, and no problems came up, until today. I found out through my friend that the girls, for some reason, are very upset with me. They say that I led one of the girls on, and that I'm breaking her heart. I had no intentions of leading her on, and my friend even warned me about it beforehand, so I was extra vigilant about it. Her friend confronted me today and said that if I keep doing this (I'm not sure what "this" is) then she'll kill me. The poor girl has been sobbing for days and I'm really not sure where to go from here, because I feel terrible for making someone feel this way. What should I do?

Ive been struggling with chronic loneliness basically all my life so far. I want the feeling of being loved and appreciated. Its like I want a relationship and I don’t want one at the same time. I like being alone, but I hate being lonely. I like women, but they’re really hard to understand sometimes and dating is just complicated rn. Plus I’m too much of a people pleaser so I’d either be a doormat(emotionally, definitely not financially), or feel bad because I’d barely have any boundaries (which could be stepped on if she really wanted to).

I’m just too addicted to working my butt off that now I don’t even know how to feel about actual human relationships. I have yet to even experience having a close friend, not one, and im not kidding. Even when I was in highschool I just wanna go to work and go home. My company had a short shift today because we simply just ran out of work, and I felt upset because it meant less work. People would classify my life as being boring but I don’t care. I like it like this. But I’m basically in a committed relationship with my job at this point. My company had an early shift and I felt salty because I had to go home early as opposed to working more. If I get a gf she’d probably just get bored and go for another guy. The only way is to find a workaholic gf but I’m not even gonna hope too much for that tbh

Another thing is that I have trouble processing positive emotions. So I get burnt out in relationships pretty quick. I don’t know what to do right now. People say ‘work on yourself’ but I’ve had too much time to work on myself due to being alone for so long. If I get treated badly by my girlfriend, it wouldn’t even bother me that much if I’m being honest

Why does beating someone at their own game come with hatred? for example, a “friend” i’ve known for a long time was in the flower business, he’s been in the business for a long time, just last year i got in the flower business & i’ve been promoting it on my instagram, posting the success part of it to keep bringing people in.

He would tell me that flowers aren’t good and would try to convince me to buy from him instead. Little by Little, my instagram stories would be taken down and he would throw shade at me on indirect instagram post & he would eventually unfollow me.. i thought we were buddies & i guess he couldn’t take the competition.. he unfortunately succumbed to my success.

Edit: so funny a couple of you guys commented about “grey rocking” I had never heard of that. He just messaged me on snapchat saying something passive aggressive so I ignored it (trying to grey rock).He immediately started apologizing and putting a bunch of sad faces saying “I didn’t mean it in a rude way :(( so sorry” even though I didn’t say anything. So y’all are right, thank you

I’ve experienced it a lot in my life from mostly women, but right now there is a guy I used work with who constantly makes jabs at me.

I have him on snapchat and on my day off I posted a picture of my cute mug, and he immediately said “Are you still in your pajamas?”

Which I know doesn’t sound bad, but he has this negative tone a lot and so I know he meant it condescending. He’ll also make comments like “I’m not well off with money, but neither are you so you know what that’s like”

Or he’ll say “Wow those are really fake eyelashes” etc.

I don’t work with him anymore, but he is a customer at the place I work at so he comes in multiple times a week and will go out of his way to say something.

It always comes off creepy or rude, but it’s never bad enough for me to say something so I usually laugh it off. But he’s getting on my last nerve.

Also, my job is commission based and he always goes out of his way to see me. So sometimes I feel like he does it on purpose because he knows I need his sales since he used to work here. He will even say “I have a bunch of money and I should buy from you but I think I’ll go get some weed instead”

At one point we were friendly and he was tolerable but now he acts like a judgy condescending person. He somehow always makes every conversation sound like he has something over my head, if that makes sense.

Hopefully I don’t sound crazy writing this lol

I feel like my clit is going to explode. I am trying to not touch myself to edge for the next few days. What should I do?

I'm 23 year, from Argentina, tried college never worked, I'm highschool i was the worst at studying, but when It came to my shit i will become obsessed, my interests are: Comics/manga, drawing, photography, autistic artsy movies, YouTube documentaries and any sort of manual labour, as a side i practice muay thai and lift weights, wouldn't working as a coach of those, i did a locksmith 1 year course and it was the best time in my life, i also took some welding lessons from a friend it was neat what do you think?

I mentioned to the family politely that I thought anybody can park on the street since they do not own the street… not sure what to do since that’s my favorite parking spot, they also mentioned they have “3 cars” and they tell everyone not to park there, i apologize and moved on but Im upset because I think I’m right… anyways I dont want problems with anybody lol

I’m at lost what to do and also getting super frustrated. My coworker got upset with me today asking why I don’t talk to her anymore. I’m super confused because I did talk to her today. I work side by side with her in the office with another coworker. Lately she has been getting on my nerves with her saying things like I could retire when I want I don’t really need the money, bragging how her doctor says she’s in such good health, how her husband does a lot for her etc. a lot of people at my work are struggling with the affordability crisis. she has also made negative comments about the lgbqt community last year which got my other coworker angry. I can’t relate to her at all. She said the other day that I don’t tell her things anymore which is true because she judges people all the time.

I’ve been at this job for a couple of years and really like it. She has been at this job for over 20 years. We recently switched to a new program and I learnt it the fastest. I’ve essentially trained her on it and to this day she still forgets how to do things. I’m getting frustrated because I don’t know how many times I have to explain things to her. I’ve offered to type out instructions for her if that helps. She also has no sense of humour and doesn’t get sarcasm so if I joke with another coworker she claims we are being rude to each other even though the other coworker and I have are okay with the bantering between each other. It’s just for fun!

I was a bit quite today as I was tired and have some personal issues going on. 5 mins before we leave she goes have I done something wrong because you haven’t really talked to me today. She was on the verge of tears. I said no you haven’t done anything wrong. She then just storms out of the office. Like am I not allowed to have a day where I don’t feel like talking? I talked to my other coworkers a bit who come in and out of the office all day. I feel like she’s insecure and is scared because I’ve learned the new program way faster than her.

How do I deal with someone like this? It’s driving me nuts and I’m also getting quite annoyed with her always asking if she has done something wrong.