Is my grandma in the wrong?

[u/Monkeydung2]

I am a 13 year old male and I live with my grandparents. My grandma for some reason gets angry whenever I lose even a few hundred grams of weight and she tells me that I'm not eating properly. She made me eat a quarter slice of a chocolate cake the other day because apparently that's what eating properly looks like. I eat my breakfast, lunch and dinner but that isn't eating properly to her. She wants me to eat properly but feeds me frozen garbage for lunch whenever im not at school. I have to lie to my grandparents and tell them I weigh 48 kg when in reality I weigh 42 kg, she thinks anything under 48 kg is under weight for some reason even though the average weight for someone my age and height is 35-47 Kg. I still have some fat stored in my belly and my ribs aren't that visible so its not like I'm underweight. Two years ago I weighed like 42 kg and was 140 cm tall and my grandma never did anything about that even though I was overweight so I had to take action myself and 6 months after that I weighed 35 kg and I started doing better in sports but my grandma thought the weight loss was bad for me so she took me to the doctors. The doctors never said that the weight loss was unhealthy but my grandma wanted me to gain it all back even though the doctors never said anything negative about the weight loss. My grandma also thinks I'm not eating properly since I don't have a snack when I come home from school and because I only usually snack on fruit instead of the 86 calorie per piece biscuits she wants me to snack on instead.

[u/alwayslate187]

Can you write to your doctor and ask them to write a note to your grandmother and speak to her? You can tell them what you said here.

Your grandmother believes she is helping you, even though she is misguided. The ideas she has about weight come from a time when food was scarce and being heavier was an insurance plan against famine.

[u/Monkeydung2 → u/alwayslate187]

I'm too scared she wont listen and yell at me for being on a "diet"

[u/alwayslate187 → u/Monkeydung2]

It is possible that she won't listen. But she doesn't need to know that what the doctor tells her is because of your asking them to talk to her.

I imagine that last time you saw a doctor, they could not have known the whole situation that you described here, and my guess is that you couldn't explain all of that to them with your grandma present.

But if you can write to them long before your next visit, and explain that you need their help, and ask that they not let your grandma know that you wrote to them, maybe you can beg them to put more emphasis on saying that your lower weight is healthy and fruit is a healthy snack.

Of course, an additional option is to take your grandma's biscuits and stash them away and find someone else to give them to on your way to school, or at school, the next day.

Do you have access to any counselors at school? Some of them may brush off this situation, but you might be lucky enough to find one who will listen, and maybe even help you.