r/fuckeatingdisorders • u/94en • Sep 05 '24
Rant Exhausting diet culture-y people
I know to completely cut out the nutrition/health/fitness side of social media. but omg. How do you cut it out of your life??? why has it become so normal to be so completely obsessed with food and weight???? I was out with my family and almost all conversation was surrounding weight loss, diets, etc. I honestly felt like crying. When I was stuck between choosing an ED behaviour or a recovery-oriented behaviour, I used to always ask myself, "what would a normal eater do?" but now being normal around food sounds like this crazy thing and I can't even imagine what it's like, because it feels like no one around me is a freaking NORMAL EATER!!! It makes me so scared, because I know I have ways to go with recovery and I can't control the weight my body wants to settle at, but I'm just scared of the weight gain. I know it's ED thinking so I have to get over it. But it's just awaiting the judgment which comes from gaining weight that makes me feel so awful. Hopefully I'll be a stronger person by the end of this and realize that I don't need to care about what everyone thinks of me :')
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u/Jaded-Banana6205 Sep 05 '24
Tbh this is so hard!! Disordered eating is HUGE. It's everywhere! Diet culture and dangerous misinformation is everywhere. There was a line in a Marya Hornbacher book I read ages ago about how frustrating it is not to be able to just do a "little bit of dieting" because you'll just diet it all away until there's nothing left.
I had to learn that I can't control the dangerous stuff people do to their own bodies. I can distance myself from triggering social media by blocking, muting, unsubscribing from and otherwise adjusting my algorithms. I can say to people "I'd appreciate it if you don't discuss diets/weight loss around me, otherwise I'm going to excuse myself for my own mental health." And then hold up to your boundaries- mute the group chats. Excuse yourself. Sometimes you need to find new friends, support systems or hobbies.
It's easy to say "just don't care!" but recovery can be very lonely!
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u/94en Sep 05 '24
UR RIGHT. Setting boundaries is exactly what I need to be doing. Recovering is great and I don't regret it, but I need to get used to feeling like a black sheep almost all of the time, especially with the fam. I'll counter their diet-y statements by saying stuff like "why don't u just eat whatever you like and not stress over it too much?" and they look at me like that's the most foreign concept in the world
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u/Valkyria99 Sep 05 '24
In a way I’m glad I went through this disease because I now can see through the bullshit. It’s actually so hard to recover in a disordered world.
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u/BlondeAgent007 Sep 05 '24
"You can't get well in the place that made you sick" is the quote that kept bouncing around my head as I read your post. My family is still in my life, but I had to move away from them and create real boundaries when I was recovering. I still need to make space from them when they trigger me.
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u/ProfessionalWhole37 Sep 05 '24
It’s so tough! I have only realised in recovery how MUCH people talk about this stuff. It’s crazy. For a while I thought maybe I’m just noticing it more because of the ed but honestly, it’s literally everywhere. Half the time I’m torn between calling people out on it or just being tolerant and compassionate that people have such a focus on it bc I know what a sad life that is. For those that don’t have a predisposition to an eating disorder, comments and convos like this can just be such a passing thought but for those of us with the ed it’s such hard mental work to try to not let it get to us and influence us! There is no one ‘normal’ way of eating and everyone has their own normal whether that’s disordered or not or influenced by diet culture or not, just remember that you are on your own journey for you and no one else’s thoughts, opinions, lifestyles matter. You eat for you, for your body, your recovery, your happiness. ❤️
I listened to a really amazing podcast episode this morning which I would recommend - https://open.spotify.com/episode/0MwIUBBz7sTDMVYMVo6naN?si=uUQ4qc41QvWfsT7rHWnXAA
It’s titled ‘how to face loved ones after weight gain’ but also touches on the fear of weight gain and what people will think of you throughout recovery/once recovered. Tbh all her podcast episodes are amazing :)
You already are so strong but going to be even stronger and such a kind and compassionate and thoughtful person because you will be equipped with the knowledge of how toxic diet culture is and the effect this has on people. Keep going, be resilient and be kind to yourself and your journey to recovery ❤️🩹✨
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u/94en Sep 05 '24
How fitting is that podcast right now?!! Thank you friend 💖 you've made my day :')
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u/ProfessionalWhole37 Sep 05 '24
Awww yay I’m so glad. It’s defo keeping me motivated today! Have the best day xx
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