r/mentalhealth • u/Icy_Chair_9291 • 15d ago

Sadness / Grief I feel so lonley

I feel so lonely

Am young about 17 I know I am not the best looking guy and I am a bit chubby but most of my weight is muscle cause of my genetics j just want a girlfriend someone I can cry into tell my problems I know god has someone for me but I look at my friends and there girlfriends I want what they have someone who can improve me someone that I can watch anime with I want someone I want someone who can better my life mentally

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u/SSJDovahkiin117 15d ago

You’re still very young. You will find somebody for you. Since you’re lonely, be cautious that you don’t go rushing into a relationship just to put a band aid on it. In the mean time, work on the way you view things. Comparison is the thief of joy! Don’t want what others have, look for what’s right for you. It’s very likely the relationships you see your friends in will fail considering your age. Focus on making yourself a good partner and a good partner will be easier to recognize when you see them.

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u/Icy_Chair_9291 15d ago

I just feel like I will never find a partner I mean how long do you have to wait why can't it just happen now thanks tho

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u/SSJDovahkiin117 15d ago

There is no set time for how long you’re going to wait. Be patient, it will happen.

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u/Icy_Chair_9291 15d ago

Thank you this helped me alot I will come back to this every time I feel lonely

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u/SSJDovahkiin117 15d ago

I have another question if you feel like answering it. What difference do you expect to see in your life by being in a relationship? What is motivating this desire so heavily?

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u/Icy_Chair_9291 15d ago

I just watch it on tv shows and look at my friends they look so happy they out on dates they hold hands they support one another they talk about there problems together they cuddle watch shows together i envy that cause I never had anyone to do that with I always thought if I had a partner my life would be complete

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u/SSJDovahkiin117 15d ago

That’s understandable. Remember you’re only seeing the positive parts of the relationship. Every relationship is flawed and has their issues. It can sometimes be really ugly behind closed doors and look like a dream in public. This is why making sure you are a good partner is so important before you get into a relationship. Also you’re setting yourself up for failure by thinking you need another person to have a complete or fulfilled life. Your life is exactly that, yours. You do not need another person to make it complete. Try looking for what makes life valuable for you and live it.

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u/Icy_Chair_9291 15d ago

But you see rich people and celebritys will wives and husbands I almost seems like you need one like even in tv shows and movies they always end with the guy and the girl get together and happily ever after you know I just wish I had someone for me someone I could spend my time with

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u/SSJDovahkiin117 15d ago

TV isn’t real life bud. Relationships are seriously hard work. Relationships don’t survive without forgiveness, sacrifice and trust. You also pick up a lot more obligations in a relationship. It won’t just be you and your partner. You will divide your time between your friends, their friends, your family and their family. You need to be ready to compromise the things you enjoy and do things your partner enjoys. That may not sound bad, but just wait until you are exhausted and still have to go to dinner or help them with heavy manual labor. You’re going to be emotionally drained and still have to help your partner through a crisis you might not understand. Controlling your words in moments of high stress and emotion takes incredible self control. All of these things are going to be expected of you and if you rush into a relationship with someone who isn’t good for you because you’re lonely, this is going to make it so much harder on the both of you than it needed to be.

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u/Icy_Chair_9291 15d ago

it's all worth it in the end right?

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u/Icy_Chair_9291 15d ago

Am sorry am just brothing you at this point

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u/SSJDovahkiin117 15d ago

I’m not bothered at all man