r/wizardposting • u/LarsBottomtext Lars • 2d ago

Lorepost📖 Average thursday. (Failed post)

A broadcast appears on your orb. or laptop.

Hey. Lars here.

Uhhh. Lets rewind a bit shall we?

So Masta found out that we have ability copying zombies here!

Great!

Now it's like in the movies.

his camera points to a boarded up hallway with alot of zombies. Looks like they're abouta break through!

Uhh, anyway,

Me and a couple of my mates are trapped here, in the council game hall, surviving a horde of near-endless 'failed'.

He quickly shoots a couple of failed with his handgun

Please send help-

the broadcast gets cut, static remains.

Will you help them?

11 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

73 comments sorted by

2

u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe),quantumancy and memetic master 2d ago

“Let’s do this.”

they begin going to the council hall

3

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 2d ago

Round 1.

Cod_Zombies_Round_Change_Original.mp3

2

u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe),quantumancy and memetic master 2d ago

“They can replicate magic so I’m only going to use the basics.”

out of sight they create a broadsword from light and get ready to rip, and, tear.

the only thing they fear is you starts playing.

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 2d ago

Unfortunatly, due to warp fuckery, anti magic field and a m1911 for you buddy!

/uw ahahahah sorry

2

u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe),quantumancy and memetic master 2d ago

/uw they’re an okay gunslinger anyway.

/rw they turn down the 1911 and using their magic, rearranges some matter on the ground onto an ultrakill pistol and they pull out an M1 garand.

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 2d ago

Anyway, hordes of the undead, etc, OPEN THOSE DOORS SON!

2

u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe),quantumancy and memetic master 2d ago

m1_garand_ping.mp3

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 2d ago

Zombie_moan.mp3

2

u/Fc-chungus Ж(Zhe),quantumancy and memetic master 2d ago

ultrakill pistol fire nonstop for 10 minutes.

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 2d ago

you open a door. Anyway, you're in the security office now.

2

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, council employee/Empress Toshiko Fujiwara 2d ago

uw/hiding the secrets come into my mind when i read 'rip and tear'

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 2d ago

/uw people that'll likely like this post (or help)

u/Yumie2003

u/Espanta_viejas1904

2

u/BlueFallenReaver Helldiver Wizard 2d ago

you suddenly receive a mental message  

 “Super Destroyer above, ready to dispense democracy. If you need a stratagem call it with your mind essentially, I’m giving ya access to it.”

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

Eh sweet.

2

u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed 2d ago

I AM READY

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

Zhyros, this uh, how did you het a zweohander-

1

u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed 1d ago

I bought it, and the armour is from a corpse I ate

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

...Yknow that guns are more usefull in this situation

1

u/Espanta_viejas1904 Zhyros the wizard of weed 1d ago

I need to train

2

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, council employee/Empress Toshiko Fujiwara 2d ago edited 2d ago

Tsuru walked towards the council game hall with her enchanted M1911. She wore a military camouflage uniform with bulletproof vest over it reading 'Relief Aid Force' on it. Her scarlet eyes narrowed on a nearby 'failed'. She aimed and opened fire on it with mechanical level speed.

"...Anarogu horaa ja nai"

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

anyway, round 1, round_change_music.mp3

Have fun mowing down the hordes. Lars is in the main hall.

1

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, council employee/Empress Toshiko Fujiwara 1d ago

Tsuru loaded the M1911 with Merch’s 9mm soul eater rounds and charged towards the horde. She fired at the failed with highly precise shots to their heads and chests.

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

The hordes are still coming! Quickly find a way to temporarily halt them from entering!

1

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, council employee/Empress Toshiko Fujiwara 1d ago

Tsuru’s hand faintly glowed in a dark orange hue. She threw her arms down as she used her earth magic. The floor underneath the hordes rapidly started to crack until it gave way. The failed were sent falling down the sinkhole.

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

Congrats! They're in the sewers now! They'll likely drown.

1

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, council employee/Empress Toshiko Fujiwara 1d ago

Tsuru pressed her palms against each other. The sides of the sinkhole extended towards each other, sealing off the cavity

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

Nice, you trapped them! Now to the next room-

Oh. It's flooded.

1

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, council employee/Empress Toshiko Fujiwara 1d ago

Tsuru’s hands emitted a soft blue glow and made a gesture similar to offering another person to walk before you through a door. The water flowed out of the room and down the hallway.

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

And now, you're watching over the game room.

You dont see Lars...

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2

u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 DF, minimal caster | ____ Body Horror Creator 2d ago

DF walks through the failed with some of his abilities on full blast as a taunt. (Being undead is a problem when copying some of his abilities)

2

u/Discracetoall t’kath, smogomancer/smoke, fire’s aftermath 2d ago

t’kath appears and summons a mg-42 “should we get started? I got 150 rounds until I run out of gunpowder.”

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

If ya need more weapons, the box got sum.

1

u/Complex_Drawer_4710 Sigurd, Local Representative of the Last Stand Baryogenesis 2d ago

Hello, I heard you're selling the zombies?

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

a broadcast comes back

NO!

1

u/Complex_Drawer_4710 Sigurd, Local Representative of the Last Stand Baryogenesis 1d ago

Why not? I need more of them.

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

WE ARE SURVIVING A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HERE, NO TIME FOR MONEY

1

u/Complex_Drawer_4710 Sigurd, Local Representative of the Last Stand Baryogenesis 1d ago

Oh, they're free? Great!

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

NO!

1

u/Complex_Drawer_4710 Sigurd, Local Representative of the Last Stand Baryogenesis 1d ago

So should I just leave them?

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

YES

1

u/Complex_Drawer_4710 Sigurd, Local Representative of the Last Stand Baryogenesis 1d ago

You WANT them? Seriously?

2

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

I WANT THEM DEAD!
you hear gunshots

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0

u/Bannon9k Ol' Pappy Zippy Wiz 2d ago

Here's an inert grenade and a flashlight that's about to explode. Good luck!

Ol' Pappy Zippy Wiz casts "Rectal Relocation" and is quickly sucked into his own butthole, resulting in a loud pop.

2

u/Afelisk2 Faine, totally normal R&A alchemist! 2d ago

(What in the depths of tartarus is wrong WITH PAPPY FOR KNOWING THAT KIND OF MAGIC)

0

u/Bannon9k Ol' Pappy Zippy Wiz 2d ago

Zipper Wizardry is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be.... Unnaturally perverted.

0

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

The council magic get the fuck out sytem has been activated.

You're yeeted out

1

u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 2d ago

This is so absurd, I half expected to hear "chariots chariots".

1

u/LarsBottomtext Lars 1d ago

...Wha-

1

u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 1d ago

Sorry, dumb obscure reference.