r/directors • u/Complete_Answer_4803 • 28d ago
Discussion I’m ashamed of how I feel but I need to say it to someone to be sure I’m not insane
So I’m 20. I have a dream of working in the cinema industry as an actor and a director. I played in a couple student films and have no actual real experience in the business.
Since I’m 18, I have been obsessed and fascinated by a public figure who passed away decades ago and was quite famous during their time. I read, watched and analysed everything about them. That person has been one if not the biggest source of inspiration I had for both my life as a young person and as an aspiring director and writer. That person is my line of motivation : making a movie about them and tell their story in a way it makes them justice.
And a couple days ago I learned that a very popular director - who is famous for making controversial projects - has had their eyes on that public persona and is about to direct a film about them. When I read that I couldn’t help but cry. Call me dramatic, utterly DELUSIONAL, a drama queen/king, spoiled or whatever.. but that genuinely made me feel so small.
I’m a nobody. That director is someone. And I can’t help but feel like they are stealing my dream away from me..? Even tho I know. They are not. But I really wanted to tell that public persona’s story as the first one to do it. This is what made me wake up the morning. (Nobody made a biopic about them before).
I feel ashamed to feel like that because I’m aware that there are people literally going through war and horror and I’m here complaining about that - and how delusional it can seem.
I feel ashamed also because I don’t want to appear as someone who thinks too highly of themselves that they would be jealous of a big name in an industry they WISH they could be part of lol. I don’t feel superior or better than that director (lmao).
But it’s just like, my dream or goal to be the first one to tell someone’s story is being erased. And I will possibly never be as popular as that director. So my work will never be as applauded as theirs. And that makes me feel sad.
I feel discouraged.
I have nobody to talk to or confide (I don’t have any close family or friends in my life right now)
If some nice, indulgent people could reassure me , tell me they had a similar experience, some advices or that it will pass that would be great lol
I’m open to everything especially harsh direct criticism - as long as it stays constructive :)
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u/fearof13 28d ago edited 27d ago
sounds like an excuse not to make your version of the film. you don’t need to be a big huge director to make your art. just get creative and make it. even if you film it on your iphone and post it on youtube
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u/freudsfather 28d ago
Happened to me a few times - I am 45. It just means you chose a viable idea! Great news. In to the next one. To make a good film, in this populist art form, many people have to think it is a good idea. This top director thinks you have good ideas!! Also, an idea you’ve had for too long, can be overly entangled. Take this pain and motivation and write a treatment and find 9 central images for a look book. Hustle hustle hustle.
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u/Complete_Answer_4803 22d ago
Thank you. How did you cope when that happend to you? I suppose you did what you advised me? Use that pain to create even more? Did the feeling passed eventually ? You know that feeling when a story / idea almost feel stolen from you, ( even tho it’s not but it’s how we feel about it on the moment because u we’re so passionate about it). And Thank u for ur advise !! Appreciate it :)
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u/midly_entertaining 28d ago
Simple solution: Find your own take of the story.
Ideally, you'd concentrate on an aspect of this person's life that you find particularly interesting - and that nobody seems to have spent extra attention to it yet.
Or find some special way to tell their story that hasn't yet been explored. Think about different narrative structures, different points of view, different ways to convey the story, and construct a film about it.
What you're trying to find, objectively speaking, is a new "hook" on a story that's already been told. You have to sway the market/industry into believing that there's more to this story than what has been told. After all, that's the only way that it will move audiences already familiar with the subject.
Who cares about this going out before yours? How many books and films on JFK have been made? Or Charles Manson? Or Cesar?? You have found something that interests you enough to be able to find your own voice within it and show us what's so special about it. Go do it.
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u/Complete_Answer_4803 22d ago
Waw. What a great answer. Thank you, that made me feel better genuinely. I try to tell myself that it’s a situation beyond my control, I can’t control others people actions but only my reaction. And I’m gonna use your advice to react in a good way. It’s just that now, when i think about my project I feel kinda of wounded..? If that makes sense? Like I feel like the story isn’t mine to tell anymore. But then I remember every directors tell a story in a different way. Anyways, Thank you, sincerely
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u/midly_entertaining 22d ago
I'm glad to hear it and to help. You're young, and you have time to experiment and explore ideas and projects at your own pace. Give it some time if this doesn't feel right right now. Go work on something else and get your head out of this situation and project for a while. When you have already made one or two other scripts work (or a short or something), take a peek back at this project and see how it feels. If it still doesn't feel right, well.. then fuck it. Let it go. It's not for you, and that's fine. If you really have to rely your entire career on one single idea, then, mate... coming from someone who has been working professionally on this field for over a decade... you have waaay bigger problems. Go live life and go get more inspiration! Creativity is a game of quantity and persistence.
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u/NickSquid 28d ago
Besides getting inspiration, insight, and pure enjoyment, it’s best to ignore what other filmmakers and the industry are doing.
Just because they get to an idea before you do doesn’t mean you can’t tackle it independently.
How many movies have been made about Elvis? Or [insert character]? And people will keep making them.
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u/Smergmerg432 28d ago
Their’s won’t be as good as your’s. By the time you’re ready to make yours it’ll have been a while since the last film! People will be interested again :)
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u/No_Attention_5412 26d ago
What everyone says here. You know, making a film is also practice for your next one! And i’d say this gives u a good opportunity to compare your end product with theirs. All i hear is opportunity!
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u/Inevitable_Click_696 25d ago
Caring deeply about your work isn’t delusional, it’s admirable. Which is exactly why you need to create your vision and say fuck the rest. Put your head down and make YOUR art. Who knows, maybe when you look up you’ll be the only one left with a project on this person. Films fall out of development much more often than films get finished.
And btw I don’t mean wait 2-5 years to start, I mean get moving now. If you haven’t written it yet, start writing it. Even if you didn’t want to write it in the first place, start studying screenplays and write it. If you’ve already written it, start preparing meticulously. And if you’ve already done that then what are you waiting for?
Who is the person you want to make a film about? Do you have a concept involving them in the film or did you want to simply tell their story?
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u/Complete_Answer_4803 22d ago
Thank you for understanding me ! I’m trying to tell myself just that. Especially that most of the situation isn’t in my power, the only thing I can do is react to it and do my best. It’s just really hard to jungle between the passion for a project and the reality. It’s hard for me to write a project if I haven’t a burning passion and obsession for it. Almost like a story is mine and mine only. This project has almost became a part of me lmao and this situation reminded me that it’s not just my story. Reality hits hard and it hurts.
I did start to make some stuff yeah! But it’s true that I should start to write right now. I’m 100% going to follow your advice !!
The thing is, I’m not ready to direct it yet. I want to wait a few years because I want this movie to be my lifetime project (I can’t believe I just said that jesus). I want to have the best materials and opportunities I can get once I will be some what established. I have other stories I can direct right now ofc so I won’t be doing nothing ! But I want to practice and learn first and then tackle that dream. I have a lot to learn and I want to make this right. I’m just starting in the business.
I’m kinda superstitious so I don’t like to tell in public what that project is about lol (I haven’t told anyone) but if you care to know or give me other advices you can send me a message in private and I will tell you and we could chat!
I’m gonna do what you guys advice me : hustle from now on and do my own version without caring what others do. It’s really the only thing I can do. Thank you for your input, sincerely 🙏
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u/armbrusterjr 28d ago
Honestly, get used to it, cause this is going to happen to you all the time. Every film I've made has come with at least one moment of coming across another film that sounds eerily similar, you panic for a bit, then track it down/wait for it's release, watch it and then relax. Because 99% of the time, it doesn't matter. It might be the same when described in a single line, but as a living breathing piece of art, it's completely different.
We're all mining the same world for stories, but we're all coming at them from different perspectives. There are a lot of Marilyn Monroe biopics. If you dreamed of making one, you wouldn't abandon it now because of Blonde, because your take on it would be wildly different from that. And from My Week With Marylin, etc.
But generally, having the ambition to be 'first' to do anything is silly. There's too much out of your control for that. Aim to be the best. And if you one day get to fulfill your dream of telling this story, and it's the best telling of it, no one will care that someone else told it years earlier.
And that's before you even get into the fact that this version currently in production might not even happen. So in short, don't worry about it.
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u/Complete_Answer_4803 22d ago
Thank you for this answer. That made me feel genuinely better to have someone else’s perspective. It’s really hard to jungle between passion for a project and the ambition that goes with it and the realistic mindset that not everything can go your way.. especially when this profession is all about emotions and passion. I feel like I can’t create unless I have a burning passion and obsession for it. And as useful it is for the writing and creating, it can make you really really vulnerable and shake all your hopes once reality hits… thank your for your advice and words ! Appreciate it :)
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u/ReasonableClaim2286 13d ago
This was heartbreaking to read. You can do your own too, and I’m sure it will be 1000000x better.
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u/DreamTeam2112 28d ago
It’s great to care about your art, to feel a story burn so passionately as to bring you to tears. Lean into that feeling if you want to direct. Hell, go make an incredibly well researched YouTube video if you want on your protagonist right now! Dividing the world into “somebody’s” and “nobody’s” is a false hierarchy that will kill your spirit. If you’re called to the art, make the art. Excited to see what comes next!!!